Author Archives: deepcurvesahead

No Greater Gift

Wednesday evening, two packages were delivered to my house.  I was heading out the door to run some errands with JB so I didn’t stop to open them.  One I expected–some hair care products I ordered online.  The other was a mystery.  All I knew was that it came from my mom in Kentucky.

Fast forward through another long day.  After finishing errands, visiting a friend, and fixing supper for JB and me, I finally got the opportunity to open the package from my mom.  It was a small box–probably the size of a paperback book–and wrapped in brown paper.  As I ripped through the paper I thought, “What the heck is Mom sending me?”  I hadn’t asked for anything and she hadn’t mentioned that I’d have a package coming–which is part of the reason I’m writing this.

Once I got through the paper, I saw a box for an assortment of greeting cards.  At that point, I got really confused.  I knew I hadn’t asked for greeting cards.  I had no clue why she’d just send me some out of the blue.  I almost called her right then to ask why she sent me a random box of greeting cards because it just didn’t make sense to me.

And then I opened the box.  A greeting card with the handwritten message “Enjoy this holiday season in your own home!  Love Ya, Mommy”  and a Christmas ornament with the inscription “There is no greater gift than the love of a daughter.”

She worked two jobs to make sure we had the things we needed and that I had the things I wanted.  Notice I didn’t say, “we” had the things “we” wanted, because I’m certain you wanted one job to be enough.  But it wasn’t, so you did what you had to. Who has a greater love?

I see girls every single day who didn’t go to college because they weren’t encouraged to read.  Girls who don’t have their own homes because they weren’t taught how to budget and save.  Girls who became mothers to children while they were children themselves because they weren’t taught to respect themselves, they weren’t told that any man worth having will wait for you.  And I know that, in a different place and under different circumstances, I could have been just like them.

Fortunately, I was blessed with a mother who wasn’t afraid to be a parent instead of a friend.  Who pushed me and encouraged me and punished me when I did things I shouldn’t have done.  Who might not understand the choices I make in my life but who does understand that they are my choices to make.

So this holiday season as you’re celebrating, take time to remind those that you love why you love them. Appreciate every gift, great and small. And give love greatly.

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Ornament from my mom (right) and and ornament of my dad

Welcome to the neighborhood…

Posted in Home Life by

Well, we had our first real homeowner issue Tuesday night.  Whodathunk that, exactly one week after signing the paperwork, JB and I would be standing outside (in the RIDICULOUS cold) terrified our house was going to blow up?  Long story short, we are fine and the house is fine.  It just took a few fire fighters and a gentleman from the gas company doing readings for carbon monoxide to reassure us.

While the fire engine was outside. lights blinking away in the pitch black of 5:30 pm, a few neighbors stepped outside to “check the mail” or “shovel the driveway.”  No one came up and outright asked what’s going on, but I guess Midwesterners are too formal for that.  Where I’m from, someone would have probably walked right up to us, introduced themselves (and probably invited us inside their home to warm up).  Once we got inside, they would have asked us a million questions about ourselves while simultaneously telling all the neighbors’ dirty secrets and offering us something to drink.

I was wondering when someone would notice the new young Black couple that just moved in.  I think I have my answer now.

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Welcome to the neighborhood…

A Very Kardashian Khristmas

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You may still be eating leftovers from Thanksgiving–I’ve had spiral ham with mac n’ cheese for lunch every day this week–but it’s safe to say that we’re officially in the throes of the Christmas season.  For some of you, this may mean coordinating outfits for your annual Christmas photo.  While my family never had a “formal” Christmas photo, I’ve always thought the Christmas season is as good a time as any to get the gang gussied up for a professional pic or two.  Apparently the Kardashians have similar sentiments as they recently released the photo for their 2013 Christmas card.

Featured Image

Photo by David LaChapelle – Image from The Citizens of Fashion

While every family absolutely has the prerogative to choose whatever style it wants for its Christmas photo, I’m not a fan of the Kardashian klan’s photo for this year.  So many things are going on in the picture–television screens, piles of gossip magazines, Gaga-esque headpieces, and random mannequin parts–that you can barely pick out the family members from the backdrop.  And speaking of family members…not everyone is in the photo.  Like, where’s Kanye?  And Lamar?  And Scott Disick?  Granted they are only related to the family by (impending) marriage, I’d think they’re still considered family and should be somewhere in the picture.

Now that I think about it, where the heck are Rob Kardashian and North West?  They are actually blood members of this family and are nowhere to be found.  If the point of a Christmas card photo is to highlight your family, it makes sense (to me at least) that all family members be included.  Maybe all the neon lights and broken mannequins scared the baby.

Anywho, I looked up some other Kardashian family photos and think this one from Christmas 2012 is really nice.  It’s simple, yet festive.  Everyone is present and looks happy, not fake fierce.  It actually looks like a celebration, which is what Christmas is all about–honoring the birth of our savior Jesus Christ.

Kardashian Holiday Card

Photo by Nick Saglimbeni – Image from E! Online

What’s your take on the Kardashian Khristmas photo?  Does your family take an annual photo for its Christmas cards?  If not, what are some of the other holiday traditions in your family?

Home

Posted in Home Life by

Guess what, y’all?

I’m a homeowner.

Due to my ridiculously slightly superstitious nature, I wanted to wait until things were certain before I made the big announcement.  It happened so quickly–it was only a few months ago that JB and I decided to start looking at houses–but the opportunity presented itself right way and we took it.  I once heard, “Good things happen slowly; great things happen all at once,” and hoped that mantra applied to the house we wanted to purchase.  After numerous phone calls, scanned documents, and trips to the bank, I signed a ton of papers and received a house in return.

I’m excited, relieved, and more than a bit terrified about all this.  Aside from moving to Wisconsin, this is the only “adult” decision I’ve ever really made.  There’s definitely the legal aspect of it to make it scary (30 year mortgage, taxes, home emergencies that I can’t call the landlord to fix now) but the idea of having a new “home” really freaked me out.  To me, “home” has always been Kentucky and the house where my mom lives.

Now I’ve got my own “home” which, in my mind, meant that my old home isn’t mine anymore.  Though I haven’t lived there in years, that house on Shady Lawn was the one place I knew I could always run to.  Now I’ve got something of my own to take care of, to take responsibility for.  I’ve got a place to build my own family and raise my own children…a place that is 8.5 hours away from the only place I’ve ever known and the people that mean the most to me.

So I guess it’s time for me to learn a new place.  My heart will always belong to Kentucky–no amount of time in the Midwest will change that–but after living in Madison for three years I can finally say that I like it enough to stay for a spell.  Y’all come visit anytime.  🙂

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Never Give All the Heart

Posted in Work Life by

Things were going well…until I got that email.

“That” email was from a trainee in some classes I taught in early October. “That” email said said I was “completely inadequate” and “taught my class nothing.” “That” email took me completely by surprise.

Since I’ve moved into my new role (corporate trainer) my life has been great. The stress of traveling, customer issues, and implementation overall wasn’t for me–I was extremely unhappy and didn’t feel like I was my best self in that role. As a trainer, I actually look forward to going to work–coming in on weekends even–and feel like I’m using my talents to make my company better.

After I got “that” email, I didn’t feel that way anymore. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, less than enough. Which, admittedly, isn’t a foreign feeling to me. Growing up I never felt skinny enough or pretty enough, never black enough or white enough to fit in. In college speech I didn’t feel dedicated enough; in my sorority I didn’t feel cool enough. In relationships–don’t even get me started. That’s another blog post entirely.

One of my favorite shows Smash (about a musical based on Marilyn Monroe) featured a song called Never Give All the Heart. In it, Marilyn sang about her past loves and how she always gave everything she had only to receive nothing in return; she wished she hadn’t given her whole heart to have it returned in pieces. It’s easier that way, holding back. If you don’t leap, you won’t fall and possibly get hurt. But it isn’t the way to live. God gives us tests to make us better and teach us lessons that will make us the people He needs us to be.

So “that” email isn’t worrying this girl anymore. I’ve got some work to do absolutely, but I’m not inadequate by any means. I’m giving all I have in this job because I know I have what it takes–no one is going to make me feel like “that” anymore.

How have you dealt with feelings of inadequacy? What advice would you give to someone in that situation?


Never Give All the Heart

Drops of Encouragement

Posted in Normal People Things by

Now that I’m training full time, I’m talking a LOT. Not to say I don’t talk a lot outside the classroom (we all know it’s something I do more than I should) but now I spend most of my work time talking my head off too. Combined with a cold, I sound like a ripoff James Earl Jones. I think it sounds sultry; most people just mention congestion meds. My throat is a wee bit creaky.

Cough drops have been my friend as of late. I guess I haven’t bought them in awhile (or at least not name brand ones) because I completely missed the addition of “A Pep Talk in Every Drop.” Each wrapper features brief phrases mean to cheer you up and push you forward.

Maybe I’m a sucker, but this is fantastic. Someone who feels bad enough to need a cough drop could probably use a word of encouragement. They make the brand look sympathetic, like a friend.

And they actually kind of work. At least I was pleasantly surprised and unexpectedly appreciative of those kind words. We should speak more encouraging words to one another. Lift each other up and help each other be their most superior selves.

And your throat can be feeling just fine.

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Drops of Kindness

Beyond the Moment

Posted in entertainment by

Last night, my boyfriend and I went to see 12 Years a Slave. If you haven’t heard about based on a true story film, please navigate to the Google immediately and commence searching.

Chiwetel Ejiofor shows us the pain and anguish of Solomon Northup, a free man kidnapped and sold into slavery. Based on a true story, the film displays the race-divided South with brilliant clarity. It reminds us of what was.

And here we are. Things thought absolutely impossible aren’t even an afterthought. Of course we should vote, and own property, and go to school together. Of course we are human.

But still exists the stereotyping, profiling. Suspicion. Blackface. We are better, but not best. 12 Years a Slave serves as a great reminder to keep the past in the past and always look beyond what works in the moment.

God Stopped and Took Notice

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This weekend, my great-grandmother (known to me as Grandmommy) passed away.  She was 88 years old; her health had declined over the years.  Though we knew she was in ill health, the news of her death still came as a shock to me.  

As a young child, I spent a large part of my time at her house on Henley Hill Rd.  A small trailer home at the end of the lane, my cousin Cedrick and I spent as much time outdoors as in.  I remember vividly Cedrick teaching me how to ride a bike on the gravel driveway in front of her house–my legs still bear the scars from my failed attempts.  Grandmommy taught me a thing or two as well, such as how good luck can be brought on my unexpected events…like the bird that pooped on my leg while sitting at a picnic table in her tree-shaded yard wasn’t gross, it was a sign of good fortune.  She had a hard time convincing Cedrick of that fact when a bird pooped on his head in her yard though.

Her kitchen held Shredded Wheat cereal–the big sugarless bricks, not the cute frosted squares–and a deep freezer with a seemingly endless supply of orange, cherry, and grape popsicles from the Schwann man.  Her television was a huge, wood-framed thing.  She always attended church and was a fixture in the choir.

A few weeks ago, I was going through an old box and found the card she gave me for graduating college in 2009.  For my radio broadcasting internship in college, I billed myself as “Ashley Maxine” in tribute to her.  I don’t think she knew that when she congratulated me on getting my college degree, but I hope she appreciates our memories of her and how we’ll honor her now that she’s with our Heavenly Father.

I imagine that my Uncle Bernest and Granny ‘Loma greeted her with a song at the gates of Heaven.  Her husband and daughter (Grandaddy Babes and Aunt Donna) weren’t too far behind.  She’s probably singing praises so loudly that God has no choice but to stop and take notice, just as we did all those Sundays in church.