(Lay Your Head On My) Pillow

“…and just relax, relax, relax…”

I know I can’t be the only one who remembers that groove from Tony! Toni! Toné!. Yes, that song came out when I was, like, 7. No, I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about (there are some pretty adult themes in those lyrics). But hey–I’m a sucker for a good R&B tune! (And if you’ve never heard this song, please give it a listen–it’s awesome.)

You’ve probably figured out I use songs as the titles for my blog posts. Sometimes the songs get stuck in my head for days–they won’t leave until I get my thoughts out. Most times, the songs remind me of a particular feeling…a moment…a memory. Today’s song actually came from a conversation with my therapist.

In a session earlier this week, I shared how overwhelmed I felt–just plain stressed and anxious–with all the changes in my work schedule and obligations in my personal life. After I was done explaining everything, she asked me a question that knocked me right on my ass:

Can you be relaxed on the busiest day of your life?

Now I had to think about this for a minute, because basically my entire life I’ve assumed busy = stressed. I enjoy having things to do; I love staying busy. But I don’t like being stressed the fuck out. (My guess is most people don’t.) My therapist challenged me to relax and not get tense even when I’ve got a lot going on.

So yesterday, even with the stress of work and home, I tried to relax. Instead of worrying about every possible thing that could go wrong, I tried to focus on the present–what was happening in that moment. And the day went surprisingly well! Usually at the end of a work day, I’m dragging myself back to my car–all the stress of the day just weighs on me, so much that it feels like a physical weight.

Yesterday, I left work feeling light as air.

So many of us struggle with anxiety and stress; we weigh ourselves down with worrying and feel we’ll never be able to accomplish everything. If you feel this way, you are absolutely not alone–I’m right there with you. But I’d encourage you to ask yourself that question, “Can I be relaxed on the busiest day of my life?” Allow yourself to see things in perspective–you don’t have to be stressed or anxious just because you are busy. Handle your shit–don’t let your shit handle you.

And just relax…relax…relax.

Advertisement

Under Pressure

Next week, my company will start bringing people back into the office. I’m part of “phase 1,” meaning that I’m expected to return to my office on campus on Monday.

I am terrified.

Coronavirus is still very real. The number of cases is increasing, (particularly in the county I live in). I do my best to wash my hands frequently, observe social distancing, and wear a mask in public. I’ve barely left the house in the past few months.

There is immense pressure to return to the office, but I’m torn. I could leave this company, or take a leave of absence and come back when things are safer. But then I’d be leaving a job I truly love and scrambling to find a way to keep the bills paid. Or I can return to the office (as I plan to on Monday) and put my health and the health of the people I love at risk. It’s a rock and a hard place indeed.

I don’t want to make it seem like I’m being thrown to the wolves. My company is requiring masks in community areas, and we are getting a solo office if we want one. I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would about the HVAC system we used—the company is improving the air filtration system and shared details about it with us. All of these things are great for sure.

But what about the elevators?

The break rooms?

The copy areas?

All it takes is one person.

One person being careless or showing up to work sick and all hell breaks loose. I understand that people want things to get back to “normal.” But unfortunately things probably won’t be “normal” for quite some time.

Honestly, things may never go back to the way they were.

When I return to work, I won’t be going to in-person meetings. I’ll be calling into meetings from my office, with the door closed and the window open.

When I return to work, I won’t be in a classroom teaching groups of 20-40 people. I’ll be in my office, training those exact same people virtually. I won’t be able to see their faces, but I can still educate them and support them.

When I return to work, I won’t drop by someone else’s office to troubleshoot an issue, or ask a question, or just say “hi.” I’ll be calling people, or using video conferencing—all with a sign on my office door telling people to call me instead of stopping by.

When I return to work, there will be no lunchtime gatherings with coworkers as we enjoy delicious food from the cafeteria buffet lines. I’m bringing my lunch every single day, and my own silverware too. I’m currently trying to figure out how I can bring enough water for the day so I don’t have to go to the water fountain or the break room for a drink.

When I return to work, it won’t be “normal” in many ways. As I think about it, there is one way in particular that will make going to work completely abnormal for me.

I’ll be scared to do it.

Pura Vida: Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of my Costa Rican adventure with my wonderful mother!  If you haven’t checked out Pura Vida: Part 1, please do–you definitely want to check out our adventures in Tortuguero.  Two words:  zip lining!  🙂  And now…

Day 4 (continued):  Arrival Day in La Fortuna!

Our last morning in Tortuguero was beautiful–hot and sunny with bright blue skies.  It was tough to leave, but leave we did (after a final breakfast).  After the boat ride back to the mainland, we hopped on a bus and took a ride to a restaurant for lunch.

Lunch was buffet-style with the BEST FRESH SALSA I’VE EVER TASTED.  (Let me say this right now–one thing that did not disappoint during this trip was the food.  I’m a vegetarian, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to find enough options while I was there.  Not only was there wonderful fresh fruit at ever meal, there was frequently salad with fresh veggies and lots of other tasty meat-free options!)

After lunch, a van picked us up to drive us to La Fortuna.  The trip was lengthy, but just like before, we were able to see a lot of the smaller towns on our journey.

As we got closer to La Fortuna, we could start to see the volcano.  Yes, an actual VOLCANO!  Was I a little scared that the volcano would spontaneously erupt and we’d die from the molten lava?  Absolutely.  Was I willing to sacrifice that to take in the beautiful view of the volcano from our hotel room.  ABSOLUTELY.  Just look at this beautiful view!

 

volcano 1.jpg

Like the garden of Eden!

The hotel we stayed in had a few more amenities than our previous place in Tortuguero.  We had wi-fi in our room.  We had towels folded into cute animal shapes.  We had a TV with premium channels.  We had multiple poolside bars.  We had room service.  And we had…(wait for it)…air conditioning!  #thankyoulord

volcano 2.jpg

Hello, butterfly.

After we got settled in, we walked around the rest of the site.  Our room was awesome, and the rest of the place was even better–check out some of the cool stuff on site:

bird playground.jpg

A playground..for animals!  Hotel staff put out leftover fruit each day to attract lots of colorful birds.

poolside.jpg

Poolside view

 

hotsprings.jpg

Just a hottie sitting next to a hot spring.  🙂  But seriously, the hot springs were over 100 degrees!

We eventually made our way to one of the poolside bars…

mushroom bar.jpg

Enjoy a drink poolside?  You don’t have to ask me twice!

Happy hour was going on, so we enjoyed a few drinks and watched the Costa Rican national soccer team on TV.  (They won!)

happy hour.jpg

Two pura vidas, please!

After the game and drinks and dinner at the bar, we went back to our room to get some much-needed rest.

Day 5:  La Fortuna!

This was the first day that we didn’t have any excursions or tours planned–we could do what we wanted, when we wanted.  Turns out, what we wanted was a relaxing day of shopping in town–and that’s exactly what we got.

We had another good breakfast at the hotel, then took a cab into town.  We purchased souvenirs for our loved ones back home including, but not limited to, Costa Rican coffee.  I bought eight bags of coffee to bring home–Mom ended up getting about 10!  We needed to share the blessing of authentic Costa Rican coffee with all of our friends and family back home.

downtown.jpg

Downtown La Fortuna

 

We bought so many souvenirs we couldn’t even carry them all comfortably–we ended up buying tote bags to put the souvenirs in!  All that shopping worked up a definitely appetite, so we stopped for a bite to eat.

lunch.jpg

Lunch date with my favorite lady!

After fries and milkshakes in a cute open air restaurant, we went back to the hotel for more relaxation.  Since we were in Costa Rica during the rainy season, we spent a lot of evenings chilling in our room because of the torrential downpour that started at about 6:30 each evening.  We got a lot of reading done and slept very comfortably after our full day in La Fortuna.

Day 6:  Journey to Guanacaste!

Luckily we got some good rest during the night, because we got picked up at 6:45am the next day to head to our final tour stop–Guanacaste.  Check back soon for Part 3 of our Costa Rican adventure!

 

Pura Vida: Part 1

Currently, the temperature is barely above freezing where I live.  Believe it or not, that’s WARM.  Last week it was literally -20 degrees.  #notcool  (I swear, if I didn’t love my job I’d absolutely move to a warmer climate.)

So, in an effort to get away from the cold (at least, mentally escape it) I’m hitting y’all with a recap of my trip to Costa Rica last year!  My job is awesome because on your five-year anniversary, you are awarded a sabbatical:  four weeks (paid) to take a trip to anywhere in the world you haven’t been before–with a companion!  I chose to use half of my sabbatical to take this vacation to Costa Rica with the woman I love above all others, my wonderful mother!  It really was the trip of a lifetime–Mom and I had a spectacular time experiencing the “pura vida” (pure life) spirit of Costa Rica and its people.  My mother is the most spectacular person I know–I owe EVERY OUNCE of success I’ve had in life to her–and I wanted to show her my appreciation with an international adventure.

mommy and me.jpg

My mommy and me enjoying Costa Rica!

This post is the first in a series, so look for additional updates over the next couple of weeks.  But, for now, let’s start at the beginning…

Day 1:  Arrival day in San Jose!

Mom and I met up in Atlanta to take the flight to Costa Rica.  Airports are usually pretty boring, but for some reason we had a few funny interactions while we were there.

First, Mom got a complement from an airport worker on her smile.  After she said “thank you” (as a good Southern woman does) the airport worker asks loudly, “Who yo dentist is?!?”  This tickled her because she was not expecting to be asked for a dental referral (since usually dudes ask for a lady’s phone number instead).

Second, we discovered we were wearing the same pants–yoga pants with mesh cutouts.  #likemotherlikedaughter #goodstylerunsinthefamily

When we landed in San Jose, we did so under gray skies, but that didn’t make us any less excited to be there!  As we made our way to customs, I got to bust out my high school Spanish with “Donde esta el bano?” or “Where is the bathroom?”  Throughout the trip, many friendly Costa Ricans let me practice my terrible Spanish on them (and I really appreciated that they didn’t laugh at me).

arrival.jpg

Bienvenidos a Costa Rica!

Our travel agent arranged a shuttle from the airport to our hotel, which was about 30 minutes away.  Our driver, a young guy with skinny sweatpants and braces, welcomed us and gave us our itinerary for the week.  We definitely over-tipped him because not only was he friendly, he safely got us to our hotel.

The hotel was fantastic!  The lobby and room were so nice, and the staff were very accommodating.  After getting checked in, we settled down in the room with some Chinese takeout.  We couldn’t get too comfortable though, as the next day we headed to the first town on our tour…

Day 2:  Journey to Tortuguero!

After a good night’s sleep, we woke up early to pack up and head to our next destination, Tortuguero. The hotel had a delicious continental breakfast, which included the best fresh pineapple I’ve ever put in my mouth and gallopinto, a tasty rice and bean dish.  I later learned that gallopinto is a traditional Costa Rican breakfast food–it was served at every single location we went to for breakfast!  (After the trip, I attempted to make gallopinto myself–my version was nowhere near as good as the real stuff.)  We also had a few cups of the BEST FREAKIN’ COFFEE I’VE EVER TASTED.  Seriously–I don’t even drink coffee and I was gulping that stuff down like water.

It was a good thing we caffeinated with all that delicious coffee too, because the bus ride to Tortuguero was longggggg.  We actually had to take a longer route because the main road was washed out (due to the rainy season).  But the lengthy trip wasn’t terrible, because we got to see lots of tiny towns in the countryside.

bus to tortuguero.jpg

First by land…

The lengthy trip wasn’t over with the bus ride either–after we got off the boat, we grabbed our luggage and traveled by boat to get to our hotel.

boat to tortuguero.jpg

…then by boat!

Once we got off the boat and got our luggage unpacked, we went on a hike (which was really more of a nature walk) .  The hike couldn’t have taken more than an hour, but during that time we saw:

  • Sloths
  • Howler monkeys
  • Spider monkeys
  • Land crabs
  • Bullet ants
  • Baby lizards
  • Tons of cool plants
  • Golden spiders

 

golden spider.jpg

Golden spider sparkle

When I tell y’all we were in the jungle, WE WERE IN THE JUNGLE.  Our hotel was actually built inside a national park!  There was no internet in the room, no TV in the room, and NO AIR CONDITIONING in the room, but it was so neat to be right there in the middle of the jungle.  Mom and I were sweating our faces off, but were so thrilled with all the animals we got to see.  After dinner and a shower, we headed to bed to prepare for our first full day in Tortuguero.

bed.jpg

Sweet dreams!

Day 3:  Tortuguero!

Weirdest wake up call ever–monkeys!  Yes, Mom and I were woken up by howler monkeys, well, howling.  It was strange but cool at the same time–who can say they used live howler monkeys as an alarm clock?  Apparently those monkeys wanted an early breakfast, because they woke us up veryyyyyyy early.  Not a problem though–we got up, had breakfast (and more delicious coffee) and took a boat tour through the canals of Tortuguero.

howler monkey.jpg

Good morning!

The boat tour was just as cool as the hike we took the previous day.  On the boat tour, we saw:

  • More monkeys
  • More lizards (including a Jesus Christ lizard!)
  • Tons of cool birds
  • Turtles
  • A crocodile (which was so close it could have jumped into the damn boat)

croc.jpg

He looks hungry!

Our tour guide was so awesome, and the boat driver was too–they made sure to point out all the interesting animals and plants so we could take lots of pictures.

BIRD.jpg

Drying her wings in the sun

After our boat tour, the adventure continued with…zip lining!  Zip lining was hot (heat rises, and we were up in the treetops), scary (at least for me, because I’m afraid of heights), and FUN!  Mom was really good at it too!  She made it through the course like it was nothing!

IMG_6614.JPG

Safety first!

IMG_6666.JPG

We watched our instructors (literally) show us the ropes.

 

IMG_6727.JPG

Climbing up to the first platform–and praying I don’t fall off the ladder.

IMG_6747.JPG

Look at her go!

 

IMG_6751.JPG

Terrified?  YES.

After zip lining, we headed into the village to do some shopping.  We bought some ice cream and snacks, and I picked up a few postcards for folks back home.  We also saw vendors selling fresh coconut water, jewelry, and souvenirs.  Also, there were so many adorable dogs everywhere (off leash).

VILLAGE 1.jpg

Tortuguero Village

village 2.jpg

Toucan statues in town!

The final activity of the day was an hour-long massage in the spa.  Now, earlier I mentioned our room did not have air conditioning.  And after all the adventuring we did, we were super hot.  The humidity was out of control too, which made the heat feel even hotter!  Mom and I thought, surely the spa will have air conditioning–we can get a massage *and* beat the heat for a little while!

Come to find out, the spa did NOT have air conditioning.  In fact, it was COMPLETELY OUTDOORS.  #weweresowrong The spa did have some high-powered ceiling fans, so we were still able to beat the heat and enjoy our massages even without air conditioning.  🙂

SPA.jpg

Outdoor spa!

Relaxed after our massages, we enjoyed dinner with the other folks in our tour group.  We dined with two gentlemen from the Netherlands (in Costa Rica for the surfing!) and a couple from the Caribbean too.  A dog also joined us for dinner–I think he belonged to the front desk manager–and he patiently sat next to us (hoping for snacks I guess).

DOG.jpg

Our friendly (and furry) dinner companion

After the meal, as we were walking back to our bungalow, we saw an armadillo!  It was hanging out near the bushes outside the bungalow, and ran away before we could snap a picture.  I’ve never seen an armadillo in real life–that sucker was big and fast!  Even with the excitement of running into an armadillo, we fell asleep quickly after our action-packed day.

Day 4:  Journey to La Fortuna!

Our time in Tortuguero drew to a close, so we packed our bags and began the next leg of our tour.  Next stop, La Fortuna!

Throwing Shade, Writing Poems, and Saying Goodbye #100HappyDays

Day 73:  Throwing shade makes me happy.  Two of my very best squirrel friends, Kathy and Julia, love RuPaul’s Drag Race as much as I do.  We have a call every two weeks to throw shade on the current season (and also to catch up on life).  Hearing their opinions on the queens and latest life updates makes me so happy.

Day 74:  Using analogies makes me happy.  As someone who teaches adults every day, I’ve come to realize that the adult brain learns a bit differently than the child brain does.  So, I like to come up with fun analogies to help my trainees learn the new information.  The analogy I used this time?  Chip and Joanna Gaines from HGTV’s Fixer Upper.  🙂  A lot of my trainees said they had a “light bulb moment” after hearing that analogy, so I think I’ll keep using it!

Day 75: Being creative make me happy.  Speaking of teaching adults, I wrote a haiku for my class because they were so awesome.  They had great question and paid excellent attention during class, so I wrote them a quick poem to express my gratitude.  They really liked it!

Day 76: Weddings make me happy.  My boyfriend invited me to the wedding of one of his coworkers.  It was beautiful!  The weather was perfect for the outdoor ceremony, and the groom cried when the bride walked down the aisle (So sweet!).  I had a great time meeting the groom, bride, and other folks my boyfriend works with–and the cake was delicious!

Day 77: Reliving my childhood makes me happy.  I downloaded a bunch of sweet 90s music and it really took me back to “the good old days.”  You know–the days when I got summers off and didn’t have to pay bills.  Here’s one of the many songs I got–enjoy!

 

Day 78: Getting fit makes me happy. Today was my monthly weigh-in at the gym–and I lost 3.6 lbs!  I’m really working on lowering the number of calories I eat and getting enough protein in my diet.  Hopefully next month I’ll have even better progress!

Day 79: Getting rid of old stuff makes me happy.  Today I sold Raven, my old car. It was a bittersweet moment–that car was my college graduation gift and saw me through my first apartment, a move to Madison, and six snowy Wisconsin winters.  But now that I have Stella (peep this post to meet her) I couldn’t justify keeping Raven too.  The money I got from selling Raven will go toward paying down my credit card. (Not a fun way to spend the cash, I know, but #adulting)  I hope Raven’s new owners enjoy her as much as I did!

Raven

Ride on, Raven! Thanks for nine awesome years!

Friends, Fathers, and Fitness #100HappyDays

Day 67:  Great conversations make me happy.  Cornelius (my bestie from college) and I had a wonderful phone conversation–I love catching up with him!  We even made plans to get together in person later this summer and I can’t wait.

13244884_1311656935517998_3678825434975494268_n

Corn and me last summer. You could say we were excited to see each other.

Day 68:  Fridays make me happy.  Sometimes you just gotta celebrate the end of the workweek!

Day 69:  Morning walks make me happy.  My boyfriend and I took a walk around the neighborhood before the heat of the day (and the rain) set it, and it was awesome.

Day 70:  Celebrating fathers makes me happy.  Father’s Day!  This day is tough for me (check this post for reasons why) but I was joyful because I got to celebrate two awesome men in my life.  My stepdad (whom I just call “Dad”) is one of the greatest men I’ve ever known (look here to see just how awesome he is).  Even though we didn’t get to celebrate together, I loved hearing his voice on the phone and was glad I got to tell him how much he means to me.  My boyfriend and I also made dinner for his parents so we could celebrate his dad–a great day spent honoring great men!

19113760_1721458247871196_9023167850212358330_n

The two men who shaped me into who I am: my biological father (top) and my stepdad (bottom).

Day 71:  Learning more about fitness makes me happy.  I had a session with my personal trainer and we talked about how diet impacts fitness goals.  He sent me home with a task to complete–track all my food for the day so we can review it during our next session.  I’m excited to find ways to improve my diet (and hopefully improve the results from my workouts)!

Day 72:  Office days make me happy.  This is my last office day before a straight week of training customers.  Trust that I’m savoring the moments of working in solitude with my headphones in.  🙂

New Developments #100HappyDays

Day 60:  Developing new processes makes me happy.  I worked with a few coworkers to improve a process for getting trainer review for updates to our software and I think it’s going to make everybody’s job a lot easier.  No complaints there!

Day 61:  Seeing where my company is going next makes me happy.  I had the opportunity to preview some development coming in the next version of my company’s software, and it was so cool!  I never imagined I’d work in IT–especially healthcare IT–but I truly enjoy what I do.

Day 62-63:  Spending time with my parents makes me happy.  My parents were in Wisconsin for a motorcycle club event and I got to hang out with them!  I know I post a lot about my parents, but they really are the most wonderful people on the planet and any opportunity I have to see them is really special to me.  We went to a fun ’70s themed dinner and dance and then hung out in the RV talking until almost midnight.

Day 64:  Small classes make me happy.  I taught a class of 10 students today.  Most of our customer classes are somewhere between 20-30 students, so having this smaller class was a welcome reprieve.  Also, I feel like I’m able to really connect with each student when the class size is small–I like being able to answer out of scope questions and spend extra time with them one-on-one.

Day 65:  International travel makes me happy.  My sabbatical is in October, so my mom and I will be heading to…Costa Rica!  I had a call with my travel agent today to go over our itinerary and I am PUMPED!  My last jaunt to a foreign land wasn’t the best experience (Long story short:  I was racially profiled by a hotel employee and accused of being a prostitute.) but I’m really looking forward to this trip.  Most of all, I’m looking forward to traveling with my mom!  This chance to take her around the world is the least I can do to thank her for being the best mother ever.

Movies, Flea Markets, and Parental Advice #100HappyDays

Day 54: Curriculum design makes me happy. I spent most of the day working on new stuff for work, and it was…kind of awesome. Most people wouldn’t be geeked to spend a whole day in front of Word documents and Excel spreadsheets, but putting together this new program to help people learn our software better makes this geeky gal pretty happy. 

Day 55: Movies make me happy. Especially when you can watch them in the comfort of your own home–DVDs from the library for the win! 

Day 56: Flea markets make me happy. Yes, you read that right:  flea markets. My daddy and I used to go to the flea market all the time when I was little; I loved seeing all the cool stuff for sale. So, when I found out a flea market was going on near my house I definitely wanted to check it out. I didn’t buy anything, but I did see some interesting stuff–I’d love to go to more flea markets now that the weather is nice. 

Day 57: Parental advice makes me happy. At least once a week, I call my parents to catch up…and also ask for advice (usually about basic adult stuff that I should probably know already, but don’t). Lucky for me, they are always willing to give it andddd it’s always great advice! Win-win!

Day 58: Being in a supportive relationship makes me happy.  My boyfriend is there for me whenever I need him, and I am so lucky (and happy) because of it.