Let It Go

Ever overhear someone talking bad about another person and just know they were talking about you?

Yeah, me too. It happened Saturday night, in fact. I’m sure the ladies didn’t expect me to hear the conversation, but I heard it nonetheless. I won’t tell you exactly what was said, but I can tell you that most people would probably let it go.

But I can’t.

That’s the problem with me and my anxiety. I can’t just let shit go. And I can’t articulate what’s happening in my mind to anyone else–my words never feel strong enough to make someone else feel what I’m going through.

So I pretend. I act like nothing is bothering me. Even when anxiety is constantly looping in my brain, threatening to push me into panic mode, I smile and pretend like everything is fine. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. Saturday night I pretended to be looking up something on my phone to make the ladies think I hadn’t heard them, or didn’t care enough to acknowledge that I did.

I haven’t mentioned what happened on Saturday to anyone until now, but trust I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since it happened. It happened after an event I’d helped plan, one that I thought was pretty successful. But apparently someone had issues with me and my departure from the event, which was the conversation I overheard.

I wish I could just not care.

I wish I could remember that the event was successful and someone’s small comment doesn’t overshadow that.

I wish I could remember that what other people think about me doesn’t matter.

But too many times, I can’t let it go.

So I’m setting a new intention for 2018: let it go!

  • Let negativity go.
  • Let stress go.
  • Let other people’s opinions of me go.
  • Let drama go.
  • Let my unrealistically high expectations for myself go.
  • Let doubt go.

Not saying I’ll have it mastered by the end of the year, but I’m damn sure gonna try.

What are your methods for overcoming anxiety?


Snowy Days

Winter in Wisconsin is in full swing, y’all. And ya girl is NOT FEELING IT.

Something Everything about the blistering cold, the gray skies, and the seemingly unending snowfall just makes me depressed. Being cooped up inside doesn’t help my anxiety either. The days are so short it feels like you never see the sun. The wind chill is so cold that it burns your skin. Now how much sense does that make–weather so cold it feels hot?!?

We got four inches of snow on Saturday, and another inch on Monday. More snow is predicted for tonight, and even more next week. My snow shovel and I have been best friends the past couple of days. #truestory I shoveled my driveway as my cardio warmup before my personal training session on Monday. There’s a silver lining to this cloud after all! 🙂

But, in all honestly, I know this rough patch won’t last. Where there is cold, eventually there will be warmth. Gray skies will be blue again. And summer will be here and make me forget all about these snowy days. Here is a snapshot from a hike at Devil’s Lake last summer–I cannot wait until I see green trees and feel the warm sun again!

Veggie to Vegan

Happy February, friends!

Today’s post revolves around a decision that has been months in the making for me–I’m officially starting my transition from vegetarian to vegan.  This is my “official” start because we all know the Internet is forever–I figure if I declare it here, I’ll have to stick to it.

Just for a bit of background, I gave up meat on and off during high school (over 10 years ago #oldladystatus) but made my forever transition to vegetarianism in 2016.  In the beginning, it was tough–I literally dreamed about frying chicken–but now I’ve gotten pretty comfortable with the lifestyle change.  The cravings for meat have subsided, and vegetarian cooking has become second-nature.  Honestly, some of the vegetarian dishes I make taste better than the meaty version!  (At least to me, anyway.)  Check out a few vegan meals I’ve made below, and if you want more #foodporn, follow me on Instagram:

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Delicious vegan food I’ve made!  (Clockwise from top left:  Banana “Ice Cream” with Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar, Tofu Fingers with Roasted Potatoes, Tofu Scramble with Roasted Potatoes, and Portobello “Steak” Strips with Green Beans and Rice Pilaf)

Why haven’t I become vegan yet, then?  Three big things:  Greek yogurt, eggs, and cheese.  Greek yogurt makes the list because it’s a good source of protein, which is something I need since I don’t get protein from meat.  It’s also super convenient for breakfast and/or a snack, which works well with my work/gym/life schedule.  Eggs make the list for the same reasons–protein and convenience.  (Also, plenty of the baked goods I love contain eggs, and I can’t quite give up my sweet treats just yet.)

And then there’s cheese.  Ahhhhh, cheese.  I live in Wisconsin, y’all.  The cheese up here is out of this WORLD, and it’s EVERYWHERE!  Real talk, I had no idea how many different types of cheese there are–and how tasty they could be–until I moved to America’s Dairyland.  I’m also a firm believer that it ain’t pizza unless it has cheese on it–and I love me some pizza.  So cheese has stuck around for a while even though I got rid of butter and cow’s milk a long time ago.

So–how is this transition going to work?  Starting today, I’m cutting cheese out of my diet.  (Guess I’ll be eating a lot of “ain’t pizza”.)  I know it’s going to be rough, but I really want to transition to a plant-based diet so I’m gonna do it!  Here are a few of the reasons I made this decision:

If you’re interested in cutting meat out of your life, check out this article by the Harvard Medical Center–it’s got some good information about the different types of vegetarianism and potential health benefits (and risks).  Also check out my Veggie Girl board on Pinterest for lots of vegetarian and vegan recipe ideas.

If you’re not interested in cutting meat out of your life, that’s cool with me.  #nojudgementhere #yourlifeisyours But I hope you’ll wish me luck on my journey from veggie to vegan!

Best of 2017

So.  2017 was an…interesting year.  So much craziness went on in the world (including, but not limited to, somebody’s President acting a fool constantly) but plenty of good things happened too!

Here’s is my list of personal highlights from 2017 (in no particular order):

  1. Getting back into acting…kinda:  I completed recording for my first lead role in an audio drama!  I’m used to acting for stage and screen, so doing just vocal work was new to me, but it was a fantastic experience.  And y’all–this story is SO GOOD.  I can’t wait for you to hear it.  Please check out Who Killed Julie?, debuting later this year!
  2. #relationshipgoals:  My boyfriend and I celebrated one year together!  Wonderful can’t even describe this man.  He has been so supportive and understanding (given my rocky last relationship) and I can’t imagine my life with out him.
  3. International travels:  It was a bit late in the year, but I went to Ontario, Canada for a work trip in December.  I had never been to Canada before and was excited to get another stamp on my passport.  I’d love to go back for fun instead of work (preferably in the summer months).
  4. Mommy/daughter Costa Rican extravaganza:  I guess technically this falls under international travels too, but it was so awesome I had to give it a special shout out.  My mother and I took a trip to Costa Rica in October that was so wonderful.  Look for more details on our adventures in a FOUR PART series next month!
  5. Three decades of life:  This year, I turned 30!  Honestly, I feel like I acted like a 30-year-old long before my actual birthday, so it is nice to have my age match my maturity level.  🙂  I’ve come a long way from that girl who first boarded a plane at the age of 16, who thought she’d live and die in the great commonwealth of Kentucky.  I’ve learned a lot along the way and I can’t see what the good Lord has in store for me for the next 30 years.
  6. My squirrel friend’s wedding, my other squirrel friend’s baby, and just general squirrel friend shenanigans:  This year I was blessed to see my good friends make awesome moves in life.  One had a daughter, who is now a DRDIT (Drag Race Diva In Training).  One got married in a beautiful ceremony in upstate New York (which I was fortunate enough to be able to attend).  One finally freed herself from an abusive relationship.  And so many called, texted, Skyped, or just hung out with me.
  7. Girls Trip:  If you haven’t seen it, you must.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever laughed that hard in a movie theater.
  8. StellaMy brand new car!  You know, after seven years, I finally feel safe driving in these Wisconsin winters.  It’s amazing.
  9. Workin’ on my fitness:  2017 marked one full year since I started working with my personal trainer.  I’ve lost 20 lbs so far (and improved my eating too)!
  10. Fully realizing the awesomeness of Amazon Prime:  “Why yes, I did order a dish drainer online.  Couldn’t I have just gone to the store and bought one?  Absolutely!  But…why?”

Tell me–what’s on your “Best of 2017” list?  What are you hoping to accomplish in 2018?

Weekend Warrior

“I haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays!”

Anybody else heard that phrase?  I grew up hearing it, but perhaps it is restricted to sleepy Southern towns.  In case you aren’t familiar, it means “I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

My point for this is that I haven’t blogged in a month of Sundays.  #sorryboutit

Buuuutttttttt I have a good excuse!  I’ve been super busy living my best life.  Y’all can’t be mad at me for that, right?  🙂  Here are a few deets from some things I’ve gotten into over this month of Sundays:

Chi-stravaganza (feat. my boo and my besties)

My boyfriend and I left after work on Friday and drove down to Chicago for the weekend.  We stayed with my college BFF Cornelius, one of my best friends from college, and did so many fun things:

  • Went to a brewery and played Apples to Apples while enjoying some delicious craft beer.  This particular brewery didn’t serve food, so we ordered in burgers (for the omnivores) and fries (for the vegetarian and vegan).  Those fries were the crispiest, tastiest french fries I’d had in quite some time–the first of many delicious foods I enjoyed that weekend.
  • Played a few games of Uno over breakfast with the boo, then hit up the lakefront for the Air and Water Show.  We took a bus downtime, found a sunny spot by the lake, and watched huge planes do spectacular things–so impressive!  I struggle to keep my composure flying economy on Delta so I know I’d be freaking out if I was in the cockpit of a Navy jet.
  • Had drinks at a rooftop bar called Cindy’s.  You could also see the Air and Water Show from here, which was even cooler than watching it by the lake because it felt like the planes were flying right past your face. We met another friend from college (a former speech competitor from UT-Austin) and had a blast catching up.
  • Ate a delicious dinner at the Chicago Diner–and it was VEGAN!  The poutine was fabulous; I would dare any meat/dairy eater not to enjoy it.  The strawberry milkshake I had for dessert was phenomenal.  I can’t wait to go back there again!
  • Watched an awesome burlesque performance by The Fly Honey Show.  The show featured men and women of every body type and ethnicity.  It was funny and poignant and like nothing I’ve ever seen.  If you can catch a show, I’d highly recommend it!
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Airplanes doing crazy things–it was spectacular to watch.

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Me, my boo, and my besties!

Devil’s Lake Hiking Adventure

My wonderful boyfriend couldn’t believe I’d never been to Devil’s Lake (apparently it’s a Madison institution) so he took me for a hike!  It was tougher than I expected–I thought we’d be walking along flat trails, which did NOT happen–but I made it to the top.  I felt so empowered looking over the edge at the spectacular view.

After the hike, we went back to the car and took the ferry route back home.  The ferry was so cool!  There was a little snack stand where you could get ice cream while you waited for the ferry to arrive.  Once we drove onto the ferry, we got out of the car and watched as we went across the lake.  Check out a few photos below:

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Panoramic view of Devil’s Lake–absolutely breathtaking.

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The top–getting some Pride Rock vibes!

Birthday Turnup

This weekend is MY 30TH BIRTHDAY!  My boo has some stuff up his sleeve (I’m not sure what) and I’m also planning to eat hella cake.  Why?  Because this is a celebration!  My 20s were kind of tumultuous:  graduating from college, moving to Madison, two failed engagements (including one that was abusive), taking on home ownership, a career change, and an ongoing legal battle all took place during this time.  I’m hoping my 30s are a bit calmer–I’ve got my house, my car, my career, and a stable relationship with a wonderful man.  I couldn’t be more blessed to make it to 30 and I can’t wait to see what comes next.


Last year’s birthday cake–I may get one twice the size this year because I’m 30 and I do what I want.


Shoe Freak

My grandmother loves shoes (and handbags); my mother does too.  So when I see my closet full of shoe boxes and purses, I blame my genes.  What can I say?  Spending tons of money on shoes is in my blood!  😉

I’m also very picky about the shoes I purchase.  The shoes have to speak to me if I’m spending my hard-earned coins on them.  I tend to go for higher heels–the higher the heel, the closer to God (in my opinion).  If I wear flats, I want them to be stylish.  Want proof?  These are just a few pairs from my collection:

Purple suede with a satin bow–gorgeous!

Patent leather stiletto Mary Janes–classic!

I don’t always wear heels–sometimes I hit ’em with the Jordans too!

So imagine my shock when I walked out of a shoe store with these babies:

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Not what I’d usually go for…

Definitely a departure from my usual style, but with good reason.  My mom and I are taking a trip to Costa Rica in the fall (!!!) and I needed something that would take me from the jungle to the beach and back again.  After some research (online and talking with friends who’ve hiked a million more miles than I ever will) I decided on the Chacos.

Honestly, they are pretty comfortable.  And they are kinda cute when you put them on too!  I promise y’all, the intent of this post isn’t to brag about my shoe collection.  It’s to brag about how super #adult I felt buying them.  I’m almost 30, y’all.  I need to cast away childish things.  I need to quit focusing on how I look and focus more on how I feel.  Because the shoes don’t make the woman–the woman makes the shoes.  And I’m making these Chacos fabulous, henny!

So whether I’m hiking the jungle or walking the runway…




Body Goals

Today was my monthly weigh-in with my trainer, and guess what?

I lost seven pounds in the past month!

My trainer tasked me with logging my food intake each day, which has been extremely eye-opening. The “healthy” smoothie I made for breakfast each morning? Yeah, that baby was over 1000 calories. 😳 The container of homemade trail mix wasn’t terrible…but eating it all in one sitting was. It was OOC–out of control. 

So lately, I’ve been working on eating more protein-rich, fiber-rich foods to stay fuller longer. Portion control has been a big focus as well. In the beginning it was really tedious and frustrating to log everything I ate (and honestly sometimes it still is). But lately I’ve been trying to think of it as an asset instead of an inconvenience. If this is something that keeps me on the right track, I need to do it. I don’t just want to lose weight–I want to be healthy. 

Seven pounds doesn’t sound like a lot, but it feels awesome. (I couldn’t weight to text my mom to tell her!) My boyfriend–who has a degree in exercise science–said that diet is a bigger influence than exercise when it comes to weight loss. And as much as I hate to admit he was right…he was right. I’ve seen faster results in the past month than I ever expected. #thanksbabe 😘

I originally wanted to lose 30 pounds before my 30th birthday, but I’m altering that body goal. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to make good food choices. And I feel like those are goals that are worth working toward.