Day 18: Being happy makes me happy.
I know you’re like, “What kind of Inception shit is that?” 🙂 Further explanation is required, so awwwwwwwww here it goes:
Today I was working at the tech helpdesk for our customer conference. I spoke with quite a few coworkers, and two of them gave me the same compliment: “Every time I see you, you are so happy and energetic. I’ve never seen you have a bad day.”
That definitely put a smile on my face because I have plenty of bad days. I’ve got a number of issues I’m battling right now, but I always try to treat people how I want to be treated. I always attempt to put positivity into the world because I believe you get what you give. Sometimes it’s hard to be upbeat, but I try. And I appreciate that people see the effort.
Yesterday was a big day. My ex came to get the rest of his things from my home. I was initially very nervous, but everything worked out fine. A very nice policeman came to “protect the peace” as they call it. Peaceful it was–within 45 minutes it was over. He left a pile of cards and notes I’d written him, thrown on the floor like trash. If he thought that would hurt my feelings, he needs to think again. I put those papers in the recycling bin and never looked back.
The overwhelming emotion was relief. My heart lightened when I looked at the now empty room that contained his things. My house is starting to become my own. I am already making plans to improve it: painting walls, getting new furniture, mounting a big flat screen in my living room. I hired someone to maintain my yard and it looks beautiful. If things work out as I hope, I’ll have friends over for a barbecue this summer (though I should probably put my grill together and learn how to use it first).
My life is starting to become my own again too. I notice that I smile more. The anxiety and depression are gone; I’m more energized and alert. Before, each day was a little dim, as though a cloud hung over it. Now I thank God as soon as I wake for the blessing of witnessing another beautiful shining morning.
It’s funny how the deepest heartbreaks can bring the greatest joy. The darkest night leads to the brightest day. After so many years of doubt, I am sure this is where I should be.
I am happy.