Day 59: Getting things in the mail makes me happy.
Quick clarification: Getting things in the mail that aren’t bills makes me happy. 😉 I ordered some pictures to hang up in my home and they finally arrived! For so long, my walls have been bare. But my boyfriend’s recent home decorating inspired me to do a little decorating myself. Family, friends, travels, and of course my favorite drag queens–I’m covering the walls with them!
Looks like I’m gonna need to do some thrifting to find frames for all these (and the ones I still need to order)…
Yes, the picture of me with RuPaul is an 8×10. To quote Queen B, “And I don’t feel bad about it.”
Days 40-41: New cars make me happy! It’s my great pleasure to introduce…Stella. She’s a 2017 Subaru Crosstrek and she’s ALL MINE. She’s stylish and, most importantly, good for these Wisconsin winters. Last winter I got stuck in a (pretty shallow) ditch and had to be towed out–I’m hoping Stella will get me out of those sticky situations if they arise in the future.
Day 42: Anniversaries make me happy. One year ago, my boyfriend and I went on our first date. We’ve been together ever since, and I am so grateful for him. He lets me be me, which is something I’ve never had in a relationship. We make a great team and I’m looking forward to spending many more years with him!
Day 43: Doing new workouts makes me happy. Each month, my trainer comes up with a new set of exercises for our sessions. I really like learning new stuff, so this is always a fun time for me. I’m sure my trainer gets tired of my constant questions about what muscles will be worked and if my technique is good though.
Day 44: Coworkers who are also friends make me happy. Imagine my surprise when I go to leave for work and my garage door wouldn’t open! I couldn’t get it open manually and had to be at work at 8am, so I called my officemate. She came to pick me up and I truly appreciated it! She is an awesome person to work with and also a good friend, which is a tough combination to find sometimes.
Day 45: Teaching camp makes me happy. I’ve been teaching classes to internal staff this week–we call them “camps”–and I have really enjoyed this group of campers. They ask great questions and even laugh at my corny jokes. 🙂
Apparently, I’m rude.
I mean, I didn’t even curse! No personal insults or attacks. Not even an angry emoji or two. Just a single iMessage after multiple disappointments:
“I said before I want a friendship with someone who has time and energy to hang out with me. I don’t think that is you. Best of luck in the future, but do not contact me again.”
In the words of Queen Bey “you must not know ’bout me” because, baby–I can show you rude if you really wanna see it. I purposefully waited a day before responding because my original response was hella rude.
He must have also conveniently forgotten that his rude behavior caused this reaction. I mean, he was the one who:
- Disappeared for MONTHS after our first date–no phone call, text, telegram, smoke signal, NOTHING.
- Randomly popped back into my life expecting me to forget I hadn’t heard from him in literally five months. He asked me if he could “make it up to me” which he did by…
- Continuously made sexual innuendos and constantly commented on my body, which made me extremely uncomfortable. (When I asked him to stop, he said he would “back off.” I didn’t ask you to back off, sir. I asked you to STOP.)
- Touched my hair without my permission. Like, not just a pat–his hands were IN MY HAIR. (To his credit, he stopped when I asked, but please don’t touch me without my permission. That is very, very rude.)
- Telling me he didn’t feel like making the drive to see me (after I drove to see him the last time we hung out) and making plans with me, but cancelling the day of because his “night kinda disappeared with a bunch of stuff.” <~~~WTF does that even mean?
So, sir–if being up front about not wanting inconsistent people in my life is rude, then I don’t want to be polite.
This weekend, I attended a few events and had a wonderful time. I laughed, ate delicious food, and shared the company of wonderful people. I left feeling on top of the world.
Later, not so much.
I have this problem with analyzing myself–being hyper critical. Rarely in the moment, but always afterward. A mental magnifying glass, scrutinizing every word, move, thought. Wondering if I was too loud. Too honest. If they liked me. If they didn’t…usually followed by things I should or shouldn’t have said, did or shouldn’t have done.
My guess is this comes from a lifetime of feeling less than. Not pretty enough, or smart enough, or talented enough. Constantly striving to present a perfect image so people wouldn’t see how broken I was inside.
That’s no way to live. And I won’t live that way anymore.
One of my goals is to care a little less about what other people think, accept my flaws, and love myself unconditionally. I cannot control the opinions of others, so there is no point in stressing over and worrying about them. As long as I’m the best person I can be–honest, friendly, empathetic, funny, kind–that’s all I can do.
I love me and–if these are the people meant to be in my life–they will too.
Life is too short to waste time on those that don’t deserve it. Every person you hold dear should improve your life and make you a better person in some way. If they aren’t bothered with making time for you, keeping promises, or caring about your feelings, keep it moving. They don’t want to invest in you, so why should you invest in them?
It can be hard to end those relationships and sever those ties, but it must be done. You deserve to be surrounded by people who care about you and want to make you a better person, not those who only care when it’s convenient or beneficial to them. You are worthy of dedication, love, and respect.
Accept nothing less.
A few weeks ago, my wonderful friend and fellow blogger Kathy invited me to spend a weekend with her and her husband at their home in Pittsburg. Kathy and I met while working together and became instant friends. We spent lots of time together while she lived in Madison and I was very excited to get to see her new house!
Kathy and her husband were wonderful hosts and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. Below are a few snapshots of their beautiful home and other fun things from my time in Pittsburg. Making new memories with old friends is one of life’s sweetest pleasures!
The gorgeous guest bedroom that was my temporary abode:
Their beautiful home–living room, solarium, gazebos, and a few furry neighbors:
A weekend of delicious meals–ramen downtown (complete with octopus balls) and a homemade breakfast by Kathy herself:
Fun times with one of my favorite couples–hiking, board games, and seeing the sights of Pittsburg:
Finally, a friendly photo shoot! Categories are Fainting Realness, Living Room Luxury, and Solarium Chic:
Many thanks to my wonderful friend and her husband for a fantastic weekend! Check out Kathy’s blog here for information on beauty, fashion, and more!