Throwing Shade, Writing Poems, and Saying Goodbye #100HappyDays

Day 73:  Throwing shade makes me happy.  Two of my very best squirrel friends, Kathy and Julia, love RuPaul’s Drag Race as much as I do.  We have a call every two weeks to throw shade on the current season (and also to catch up on life).  Hearing their opinions on the queens and latest life updates makes me so happy.

Day 74:  Using analogies makes me happy.  As someone who teaches adults every day, I’ve come to realize that the adult brain learns a bit differently than the child brain does.  So, I like to come up with fun analogies to help my trainees learn the new information.  The analogy I used this time?  Chip and Joanna Gaines from HGTV’s Fixer Upper.  🙂  A lot of my trainees said they had a “light bulb moment” after hearing that analogy, so I think I’ll keep using it!

Day 75: Being creative make me happy.  Speaking of teaching adults, I wrote a haiku for my class because they were so awesome.  They had great question and paid excellent attention during class, so I wrote them a quick poem to express my gratitude.  They really liked it!

Day 76: Weddings make me happy.  My boyfriend invited me to the wedding of one of his coworkers.  It was beautiful!  The weather was perfect for the outdoor ceremony, and the groom cried when the bride walked down the aisle (So sweet!).  I had a great time meeting the groom, bride, and other folks my boyfriend works with–and the cake was delicious!

Day 77: Reliving my childhood makes me happy.  I downloaded a bunch of sweet 90s music and it really took me back to “the good old days.”  You know–the days when I got summers off and didn’t have to pay bills.  Here’s one of the many songs I got–enjoy!


Day 78: Getting fit makes me happy. Today was my monthly weigh-in at the gym–and I lost 3.6 lbs!  I’m really working on lowering the number of calories I eat and getting enough protein in my diet.  Hopefully next month I’ll have even better progress!

Day 79: Getting rid of old stuff makes me happy.  Today I sold Raven, my old car. It was a bittersweet moment–that car was my college graduation gift and saw me through my first apartment, a move to Madison, and six snowy Wisconsin winters.  But now that I have Stella (peep this post to meet her) I couldn’t justify keeping Raven too.  The money I got from selling Raven will go toward paying down my credit card. (Not a fun way to spend the cash, I know, but #adulting)  I hope Raven’s new owners enjoy her as much as I did!


Ride on, Raven! Thanks for nine awesome years!


The Realness: An Open Letter to RuPaul and Bob the Drag Queen

My queens!

This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting both of you at DragCon in Los Angeles. When I say I got my ENTIRE life, I mean just that–y’all slayed me and brought me back…only to slay me again! You may have forgotten our interaction, so let me jog your memories:

Bob–I stood in line for almost two hours to meet you on Saturday. Taylor, one of your assistants, assured me I would get through the line before you left at 4:30. I may have told him we would engage in fisticuffs if that turned out not to be true (I’m blaming my hangriness for that statement). You told me I was beautiful (which I am still gagging over). I said you would be my perfect husband because you’re just like me…you then introduced me to your brother and suggested that might be a better match. You signed my merchandise, we took two photos, and I promised to burn World of Wonder to the ground if you didn’t win (and I’m still mostly serious about that). I still can’t believe how gracious you were. 

Purse first!

Ru–you and I met toward the end of the day Saturday. I had to take a moment when I saw you sitting behind that desk–I clutched my invisible pearls and audibly ordered myself to get it together. Your voice was heavenly; your suit the perfect shade of pink. You complimented my makeup (something I’m still reeling over!) and we chatted about products. You said you heard a touch of my southern accent…which I admitted comes out in extremely emotional situations. You hugged me. I cried when I left and swore that I could die right then and consider my life well-lived. Complete. 

Pure joy!

Y’all are everything I’m too scared to be. You refuse to let the opinions of others block your greatness. You won’t allow your own thoughts of self-doubt to keep you from the success you rightful deserve. 

Y’all are everything I know I am but won’t show. You make people laugh. You command rooms, stages. You knew you were destined to be performers and you took your rightful place in the spotlight. You choose to personify strong Black women when society screams a Black woman is the worst thing to be. 

But I think the realness is what I appreciate most. You are yourselves, all the time. You don’t apologize for who you are. Even when you take on a character, your personality shines through. 

Thank you for inspiring me to be myself, without apology. Thank you for the realness. 


Ashley (@DeepCurvesAhead)