Second Guess

This weekend, I attended a few events and had a wonderful time. I laughed, ate delicious food, and shared the company of wonderful people. I left feeling on top of the world.

Later, not so much.

I have this problem with analyzing myself–being hyper critical. Rarely in the moment, but always afterward. A mental magnifying glass, scrutinizing every word, move, thought. Wondering if I was too loud. Too honest. If they liked me. If they didn’t…usually followed by things I should or shouldn’t have said, did or shouldn’t have done.

My guess is this comes from a lifetime of feeling less than. Not pretty enough, or smart enough, or talented enough. Constantly striving to present a perfect image so people wouldn’t see how broken I was inside.

That’s no way to live. And I won’t live that way anymore.

One of my goals is to care a little less about what other people think, accept my flaws, and love myself unconditionally. I cannot control the opinions of others, so there is no point in stressing over and worrying about them. As long as I’m the best person I can be–honest, friendly, empathetic, funny, kind–that’s all I can do.

I love me and–if these are the people meant to be in my life–they will too.

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2 thoughts on “Second Guess

  1. I feel ya! I often wonder if I could recall (and play over and over again in my mind) the OTHER side of my interactions with people instead of just my own if I would recognize I was enough. I feel like I should take on this goal to care a little less, too. Thanks for the reminder! ❤

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