Category Archives: family

Down the Aisle: 365 Days and Counting!

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One year from today, JB and I will become husband and wife!

I’m starting this series on wedding planning to share my experience and hopefully make wedding planning easier for lots of other brides out there.  When JB and I first got engaged, I quickly became overwhelmed with all of the details that needed to be addressed.  However, as someone who has worked as a professional project manager, I’m confident that I’ll be able to coordinate all of the details and make our wedding truly spectacular.  Look forward to posts on invitation selection, ceremony details, reception planning, DIY decor, and more!

But at the end of the day, the reception decorations and ceremony programs aren’t what really matters.  What matters is two people becoming one and creating their own family.  What matters is promising to be there for one another always, through the great times and the terrible times.  Regardless of what the decorations look like, I can’t wait to stand in front of our family and friends and publicly declare our commitment to each other and to God.

I’ve been praying a special prayer for JB and I as our wedding date draws nearer.  “Father, please bless our union. Allow us to serve You, bringing us closer together as we draw closer to You. We are thankful you brought us together and unite us for life.”

One of our very first photos together!

One of our very first photos together!

Getting Ready for Halloween

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I can’t believe it has almost been a full year since we purchased our home! Last year we missed out on decorating for the holidays, but this year we swore we would do something to the house (especially since the boys are with us). Our first step–a Halloween door cover!

Hanging this decoration has really ramped up the excitement regarding Halloween. The boys can’t wait to get dressed up; one of them wants to be a vampire Superman (points for creativity). JB wants to get some pumpkins for carving. This is the first year in my entire life that I’ve lived in an area populated enough to get trick-or-treaters so I can’t wait to hand out candy and see all the costumes.

I know this decoration isn’t much–it was $2 at Walgreens and only needed some clear tape and JB’s long arms to put it up. But it has made preparing for our first holiday as a family of five even more fun!

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Overnight Mom

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I never knew I’d be a mother of three at 27.

And I guess –technically–I’m not. My fiancé has three sons from a previous relationship who came to live with us full-time this summer. So, practically overnight, I became a mother figure to three kids.

I must admit I have no clue what I’m doing.

It’s not as though I’ve never been around kids before. I worked at a day care for a while in college and I’ve babysat a number of times. But I’ve never been responsible for another human being’s life 24 hours a day. Certainly not three very energetic male human beings.

I’ve never had to go to parent-teacher conferences (as a parent anyway). Nor have I had to pick a sick child up from school or line up after school care. I’ve never had someone call me Mommy. Now all of those things have happened and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

Part of me is thrilled. I love seeing what they learn each day at school. I love helping with reading (something I’ve always loved to do) and playing games with them. Watching them interact with their father is heart-warming. Sometimes they can be so adorably hilarious I can’t stand it.

But still, part of me is adjusting to how different life with kids is. As someone who’s spent the majority of her life just taking care of herself, learning to take care of someone else (especially three someones who need constant supervision) has been hard for me. I miss my Saturdays, my “me time,” when I could wake up when I felt like it and do what I wanted all day long.

I worry that I’m not doing it right. That I’m too strict on them. That they aren’t where they should be in terms of school. I worry that I’m not providing a good example for them or setting them up to be successful adults.

But overall I think I’m doing okay, that WE are doing okay. I may not be their biological mom, but I think they are starting to see me as someone they can count on. We aren’t a traditional family, but we are a family nonetheless.

Puzzled

Posted in family, Normal People Things by

When was the last time you made something broken whole again?

There is a great satisfaction in seeing individual pieces come together, orchestrating the reunion of so many wayward fragments. My grandmother was fully aware of this, and I hope it was the reason why she passed her love of puzzles on to me.

My grandmother is a firecracker. She isn’t afraid to share her views on the world. In fact, her coworkers nicknamed her Frank…you can guess why. She also enjoys her quiet moments, and one of her pastimes includes working jigsaw puzzles.

I remember spending nights at her apartment in our tiny Kentucky hometown and seeing her 1,000-piece puzzles. Placed on a sheet of poster board, the puzzle quietly occupied a section of her living room floor. She worked on puzzles of lush landscapes or beautiful architecture–a testament to her skill and keen eye.

She taught me her techniques and life lessons at the same time. Separating the edge pieces from the middle ones, completing the frame first, was really a lesson in patience and planning ahead. Keeping all the pieces in the box instructed me to stay organized and take care of my belonging. Laying down the final piece reminded me that even though things seem like they will never come together, eventually everything will connect.

Most of all, I learned to relish quiet moments. We deal with so much noise throughout the day–phone calls and emails and texts and tweets and all of the other interactions we have on a daily basis. Taking a moment to sit down and complete a quiet activity can bring calm to a very hectic world.

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Craftstravaganza: Washi Tape Chore Sticks!

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In case y’all didn’t know, my fiance is the father of three of the most hilarious boys I’ve ever met in my life.  Even though they try me sometimes, these kids truly bring joy to my life; I always look forward to hearing their crazy stories and watching them laugh and play.  Since they don’t stay with us full-time, I have been searching for ways to get them more involved in the daily routine at our house.  A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the idea of getting paid to do work around the house and they were really excited about it, so I did what I always do in situations like these–logged into Pinterest to search for inspiration.  This is where I got the idea of creating chore sticks.  Not only was this craft super easy, it was also pretty cheap–I got all of the supplies for under $10!

Chore sticks for the boys!

Finished product!

Here are the supplies you’ll need for this project:

  • Craft sticks (approx. $4 at craft store–I chose the wide ones and there were 60 in the package)
  • Washi tape (approx. $2/roll–easily the most expensive part of the project as I needed a different color for each child)
  • Sharpie marker (free–already had one at home)
  • Jar (also free–I used one that I had already decorated as part of another Pinterest project)

I started by applying tape to the end of each stick so that each boy would know which chores were his to complete.  I thought this would be easier than writing their names on the sticks.    Also, it makes the sticks more colorful and fun!

Washi tape makes doing chores cool.

Washi tape makes doing chores cool.

Once I had all the sticks taped–I ended up with 20 per kid–I started on the hardest part of the project, which was determining which chores to put on the sticks.  I researched age-appropriate chores for an 8, 7, and 4-year old and wrote one chore on the front of each stick.  I decided to write out the chores and not use pictures for a number of reasons:  (1) it was easier for me; (2) it gave the older two boys a chance to practice their reading; and (3) it gave the youngest boy a chance to start recognizing letters and words, even though he can’t read yet.

Some of the chores were simple, like clearing the table.  Others were more complicated or time-consuming, like vacuuming the stairs or sweeping the garage and driveway.  Each chore was priced at either $1, $3, or $5; I wrote the price on the back of each stick.  Once they completed a chore, they were allowed to flip the stick over and see how much money they earned.  You can easily add new chores by purchasing more sticks and “swap” sticks by changing the tape.  If the middle boy outgrows a chore, all I have to do is change the tape and it becomes a chore for the youngest.

A dolla makes me holla!

“A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo!”

After I made the sticks, I sat the boys down and explained how the process would work.  Each day they were at our house, they would receive a chore stick (sometimes multiple chore sticks).  It was their responsibility to complete the chores before they left to go back to their mom’s house.  In order to be compensated for their chore, it had to pass inspection–either JB or I had to check their work to make sure it was good.  If not, they would not get their money.  Additionally, they could lose money if they misbehaved throughout the week–not listening, being disrespectful, fighting, etc. might cause them to lose a dollar.   Once they completed all their chores for the day, I would pay them their money.  Each boy has two baggies–one labeled “spend” and the other “save.”  They could decide how much money they wanted to save (for a big item like a video game or a tablet) and how much to put aside to spend at the end of the week.

Yesterday was our first time using the sticks and…it was a huge success!  The boys were very excited to see what their chores were for the day and couldn’t wait to get started on them.  I also chose chores that would require them to work together (for example, the middle boy was responsible for gathering all the dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper and the oldest was in charge of taking the dirty clothes downstairs and sorting them) so that they could see how each person doing a small job made the entire house run more smoothly.  Obviously they needed a bit of coaching–making sure the laundry was sorted correctly and whatnot–but overall they did a good job with their chores.  Probably their favorite part was when I gave them their dollars and they were able to put them in their “save” or “spend” bags.  They each got $3 and all three of them decided to save every single dollar!  I’m sure this will change as they earn more money, but I was really proud to hear them talk about “saving lots and lots of dollars” to buy something they really wanted.  🙂

Not only did I get to flex my underused craft muscle, I also got a bunch of help around the house for wayyyyyyyy less than the cost of a housekeeper.  It may have taken a bit longer to get things done, but the boys need to learn how to take care of a household so I consider taking the extra time in the short-term as a long-term investment in them–as they continue to complete the chores they will only get better at them.  Also, having the boys complete smaller tasks freed me up to complete some of the larger ones, so everyone wins!

I’ll keep y’all updated on our progress as we continue to use these.  You can also find my original inspiration for this craft (as well as the list of age-appropriate chores I drew from) on my Pinterest page.  Happy crafting!

The Story of Us

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You wake up thinking it’s just an ordinary Tuesday, and then you end up getting engaged.  Who knew?  I surely didn’t.  But yesterday the love of my life asked me to marry him.

I Said Yes

Sorry to ruin the surprise, everyone.

The story begins awhile back.  JB and I started dating about two years ago have always known that this relationship would go somewhere (at least I did anyway).  We had a few instances of wedding talk–even browsed engagement rings online so he’d have an idea of what I liked–but nothing super serious happened until a few weeks ago.  JB mentioned casually that we should go look at some engagement rings at a store so I could try them on.  We went to Kesslers, a local jewelry chain, and ended up purchasing a ring that day. We also took note of which wedding bands we wanted to purchase and tried those on as well.  Side note:  If anyone reading this is in Wisconsin and is looking for diamond jewelry, I highly recommend Kesslers.  The staff was amazing, the price was reasonable, and the jewelry is beautiful!

My engagement ring wouldn’t be ready for a week, so we patiently waited seven days to pick it up.  Once JB picked up the ring, I started living in a constant state of anxiety.  I wasn’t having panic attacks or anything, but I did constantly wonder when “it” would happen.  I also painted my nails just in case I needed to take ring pictures–a girl can never be too prepared.  (Side note:  My home manicure was long gone by the time he actually proposed–this is why gel manicures are so wonderful.)  I accidentally found the ring in his sock drawer when I was putting away laundry one day, and I guess he figured that out because the next time I went to put away his socks, the ring was mysteriously absent.  Word of wisdom to all you men out there:  Don’t hide surprises for your lady near clothes if she’s the one doing the laundry.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I had to work and JB was off, so I asked him if he wanted to have lunch with me.  He said he’d let me know and I went on to work.  During breaks I checked Facebook on occasion and noticed that JB had tagged me in a few things:  two music videos (both super romantic songs) and an album of pictures of the ring!  Once he picked me up for lunch, I thought he was acting a bit strangely but brushed it off.  We had a quick lunch, then he dropped me back off at work.  We checked in a few more times after lunch, then I left work to head home.  JB wasn’t there when I arrived–he had to pick up the boys from school–so I got to work making a marinade for some pork chops (Side note:  We are actually having these pork chops tonight–I’ll let y’all know if they turn out okay.)

A few minutes later, JB and the boys trooped in.  He got them settled at the table with some food from McDonalds, then grabbed me and said he had an announcement.  He said that I was a very special woman…very beautiful…and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  (Side note:  This is when I broke out into the type of sweat most often experienced when an extremely high fever breaks).  He dropped to one knee right there next to the kitchen table, in front of the three people most important to him, and asked me to be his wife.  🙂  I cried and said yes and we hugged and kissed.  The boys continued to eat their McNuggets–apparently nothing, even a marriage proposal, can get a kid’s attention if McNuggets are present.

Nuggets

Perhaps the boys would have been more interested in a proposal like this?

Once I got control of my emotions, I told the boys that this meant we would have a wedding and they could be in it.  They got a bit more excited at that point…probably because most of the McNuggets were gone.  I called my mom in Kentucky to tell her the good news, and we celebrated with a cocktail and an evening with the boys.  (Side note:  I had to take a shower because I was so sweaty after he proposed.  I also spent a significant portion of the evening randomly bursting into tears–happiness overload.)

So there you have it–the story of our engagement!  We’re planning to get married in a year, maybe a year and a half, and have already started talking about location and all those other fun wedding things.  We appreciate every single phone call, text, Facebook post, and positive thought we’ve received; we can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together, especially with our great families and awesome friends!

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I finally showed JB my secret wedding Pinterest board!

That Was Her Way

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One year ago today, my great-aunt Aloma passed away.  Known to me as Granny Loma, she played a recurring role in my childhood.  In summers she hosted far-flung relatives and Independence Day barbecues.  The other seasons felt her presence too; Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas parties, Easter Egg hunts in the field behind her house.  You could stop by whenever to talk to her, and she always had something to say–and no qualms about saying it either.

On my trips back home after moving to Madison, she was the one I made a point to visit.  She made sure I left with a wise word and a joke (and frequently a strawberry shortcake, my favorite of her desserts).  She called me when my mother and I argued to make sure I understood my mother’s perspective and hers too–protect your children, guard your family.  Let them learn but never leave them lonely.  Tell them the truth but understand their lives are their own.

She was the type of woman that spoke her mind without hesitation–there was never a question of how she felt or what she thought.  She had five kids of her own and helped raised everyone else’s too.  When she told you to do something, you did it (and heaven forbid if she had to tell you twice).  She lived in big t-shirts and white tennis shoes.  Her hair was always flawless.  She sang beautifully and loved the Lord with all her heart.  She was the matriarch of our family, our center of gravity.

I told myself I should ask more questions while she was here, but the opportunities passed; the moments slipped by.  Of course now more than ever I want to know her yellow cake recipe, how to can vegetables, what it felt like to to be a wife at 14.  The things I took for granted as a college student, juggling classes with work and extracurriculars, interest me most in my new day of home and career.  The answers I look everywhere to find were five minutes away on Tanner Rd. all this time.

Somewhere–in the warmest, friendliest corner of Heaven, Granny Loma is preparing a feast to welcome us when we join her.  To give of all of us–her husband, children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, and anyone who needs it–a warm smile, a big hug, and words of truth spoken with heartfelt sincerity.  That was her way.

Sept. 13, 1942-April 2, 2013

Sept. 13, 1942 – April 2, 2013

The Thought That Counts

After a brief holiday hiatus, I’m back with another post! Sorry for the delay, but in the rush of Christmas, New Years, and heading back to work it’s been difficult to find time to post.

This Christmas I decided to make my mom something special to show her how much she means to me.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to appreciate the thoughfulness of a handmade gift.  It is so nice knowing that someone took time (as well as money and other resources) to create something just for you.  Anyone can go buy a gift–it’s truly special to make something for someone.

With that in mind–and an ever growing Pinterest addiction–I found the perfect project:  a word punch collage!  (You can find the original pin here.)  A quick trip to Goodwill and a few hours of my time later, I had a gift my mom loved.  Here’s how I did it:

Materials:

  • Picture frame
  • Photo mat
  • Old book or dictionary
  • Paper punches (one for the words, another for the accent square at the end)
  • Scrapbook paper
  • Two-sided tape
  • Glue stick
  • Small paint brush (optional)
  • Paint for frame (optional)

I picked up the picture frame (which included a photo mat) and an old dictionary from the Goodwill down the street.  I purchased the paper punch (a small square with scalloped edges) from Michael’s; you can use any shape punch you want–just make sure it is large enough to get your entire word.  Scrapbook paper, glue stick, paint brush, and paint I already had at home, though you can grab those at your local craft store.

First, I painted the picture frame black.  This step is completely optional–the frame I bought was a lighter wood that DEFINITELY wouldn’t have matched my mom’s bedroom.  I anchored the scrapbook paper (a burgundy color to match my mom’s bedroom) to the photo mat with two-sided tape..

Then came the most helpful part–I punched out some “test” squares to see how many I needed to fill my frame.  This was extremely helpful as it gave me the number of words I needed to punch out as well as helped me get my lines straight before I started gluing.  If y’all are anything like me, don’t skip this part–I didn’t want to make my mommy cross-eyed because I can’t make a straight line.

Once I knew how many words I needed, I proceeded to the most fun part–going through the dictionary and finding things to describe my mom.  I frequently describe her as a “badass”…but I couldn’t find that word in my dictionary.  I did, however, find things like fearless…warrior…kind…foster (since she was a foster parent)…and the list goes on.  I honestly could have done this forever; my mother is such a wonderful person and there are a thousand great adjectives for her.

After the punching was complete, I laid out my squares; I rearranged the words a number of times to make sure I didn’t have a bunch of words that started with the same letter near each other, I didn’t make any weird phrases, etc.  I then proceeded to gluing the squares to the scrapbook paper;  just rub the back of the square on the glue stick and place it where you want.  This part actually went fairly quickly; I did one row at a time to make sure they stayed straight.  I also made an “accent” square at the end of the last row (just one of my test squares and a flower from another paper punch) for a little pizzazz.

Once my frame was dry, I reassembled and voila!  An easy, affordable, handmade gift for the most important lady in my life.  This wasn’t the only gift I gave her–she’s had her eye on a new blender for quite some time–but she truly seemed to appreciate it.  It is already hanging in her bedroom next to a collage I made her years ago for Mother’s Day.  🙂  Check out the finished project on my Pinterest page!

Christmas should be a time of togetherness, of good cheer, of peace on Earth.  Please remember the real reason we celebrate–not for gifts, but for the birth of God’s son and the gift of everlasting life for those who believe in Him.  Remember this each day, love one another, and be blessed!

No Greater Gift

Wednesday evening, two packages were delivered to my house.  I was heading out the door to run some errands with JB so I didn’t stop to open them.  One I expected–some hair care products I ordered online.  The other was a mystery.  All I knew was that it came from my mom in Kentucky.

Fast forward through another long day.  After finishing errands, visiting a friend, and fixing supper for JB and me, I finally got the opportunity to open the package from my mom.  It was a small box–probably the size of a paperback book–and wrapped in brown paper.  As I ripped through the paper I thought, “What the heck is Mom sending me?”  I hadn’t asked for anything and she hadn’t mentioned that I’d have a package coming–which is part of the reason I’m writing this.

Once I got through the paper, I saw a box for an assortment of greeting cards.  At that point, I got really confused.  I knew I hadn’t asked for greeting cards.  I had no clue why she’d just send me some out of the blue.  I almost called her right then to ask why she sent me a random box of greeting cards because it just didn’t make sense to me.

And then I opened the box.  A greeting card with the handwritten message “Enjoy this holiday season in your own home!  Love Ya, Mommy”  and a Christmas ornament with the inscription “There is no greater gift than the love of a daughter.”

She worked two jobs to make sure we had the things we needed and that I had the things I wanted.  Notice I didn’t say, “we” had the things “we” wanted, because I’m certain you wanted one job to be enough.  But it wasn’t, so you did what you had to. Who has a greater love?

I see girls every single day who didn’t go to college because they weren’t encouraged to read.  Girls who don’t have their own homes because they weren’t taught how to budget and save.  Girls who became mothers to children while they were children themselves because they weren’t taught to respect themselves, they weren’t told that any man worth having will wait for you.  And I know that, in a different place and under different circumstances, I could have been just like them.

Fortunately, I was blessed with a mother who wasn’t afraid to be a parent instead of a friend.  Who pushed me and encouraged me and punished me when I did things I shouldn’t have done.  Who might not understand the choices I make in my life but who does understand that they are my choices to make.

So this holiday season as you’re celebrating, take time to remind those that you love why you love them. Appreciate every gift, great and small. And give love greatly.

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Ornament from my mom (right) and and ornament of my dad