Starts With Goodbye (a.k.a. How My Entire Life Changed Over a Single Weekend)

Long story short, I’m not getting married anymore.  I’d rather not go into the gory details–those who need to know already do–and besides, the most important part of the story is that he’s gone.

So now I get to focus on me, which is something I haven’t done much over the past three years.  I’ve been thinking a lot about myself over this past weekend and I’ve come to some conclusions:

  • I like to fix people.  Call me the Olivia Pope of broken boys, if you will.  But sometimes you just can’t fix a person, and that’s okay.  The person God has intended for me won’t need to be fixed; God will have already prepared him for me.
  • I thought that putting myself first was selfish.  Putting yourself first isn’t selfish.  If you don’t put yourself first, who will?  If I don’t make myself the best person I can be, I won’t be the best person for someone else.
  • I can be willfully ignorant.  The warning signs about this relationship appeared LONG ago, but I chose not to see them.  However, God will make you get the message one way or another–I’m one that He has to bash over the head with stuff before I finally get it.
  • I am awesome exactly the way I am.  I’m not bragging; I’m speaking fact.  I shouldn’t have to change anything about myself for someone to love me.  If they don’t love me for who I am, they don’t deserve to marry me at all.

Throughout this ordeal I’ve also realized that I have the best friends and family on the planet.  They have supported me in so many ways and showed me that I am never alone.  I cannot begin to thank them for all that they’ve done for me.

Finally, I serve a God who will never, ever, EVER give up on me.  God will always deliver for His children, no matter what.  He brings people into our lives for a purpose and He takes them out of our lives for a purpose too.  Trust Him and you can’t go wrong–He won’t let you.

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt,
I guess I’m gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I’ve loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it’s gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

-Carrie Underwood, Starts With Goodbye


The Story of Us

You wake up thinking it’s just an ordinary Tuesday, and then you end up getting engaged.  Who knew?  I surely didn’t.  But yesterday the love of my life asked me to marry him.

I Said Yes

Sorry to ruin the surprise, everyone.

The story begins awhile back.  JB and I started dating about two years ago have always known that this relationship would go somewhere (at least I did anyway).  We had a few instances of wedding talk–even browsed engagement rings online so he’d have an idea of what I liked–but nothing super serious happened until a few weeks ago.  JB mentioned casually that we should go look at some engagement rings at a store so I could try them on.  We went to Kesslers, a local jewelry chain, and ended up purchasing a ring that day. We also took note of which wedding bands we wanted to purchase and tried those on as well.  Side note:  If anyone reading this is in Wisconsin and is looking for diamond jewelry, I highly recommend Kesslers.  The staff was amazing, the price was reasonable, and the jewelry is beautiful!

My engagement ring wouldn’t be ready for a week, so we patiently waited seven days to pick it up.  Once JB picked up the ring, I started living in a constant state of anxiety.  I wasn’t having panic attacks or anything, but I did constantly wonder when “it” would happen.  I also painted my nails just in case I needed to take ring pictures–a girl can never be too prepared.  (Side note:  My home manicure was long gone by the time he actually proposed–this is why gel manicures are so wonderful.)  I accidentally found the ring in his sock drawer when I was putting away laundry one day, and I guess he figured that out because the next time I went to put away his socks, the ring was mysteriously absent.  Word of wisdom to all you men out there:  Don’t hide surprises for your lady near clothes if she’s the one doing the laundry.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I had to work and JB was off, so I asked him if he wanted to have lunch with me.  He said he’d let me know and I went on to work.  During breaks I checked Facebook on occasion and noticed that JB had tagged me in a few things:  two music videos (both super romantic songs) and an album of pictures of the ring!  Once he picked me up for lunch, I thought he was acting a bit strangely but brushed it off.  We had a quick lunch, then he dropped me back off at work.  We checked in a few more times after lunch, then I left work to head home.  JB wasn’t there when I arrived–he had to pick up the boys from school–so I got to work making a marinade for some pork chops (Side note:  We are actually having these pork chops tonight–I’ll let y’all know if they turn out okay.)

A few minutes later, JB and the boys trooped in.  He got them settled at the table with some food from McDonalds, then grabbed me and said he had an announcement.  He said that I was a very special woman…very beautiful…and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  (Side note:  This is when I broke out into the type of sweat most often experienced when an extremely high fever breaks).  He dropped to one knee right there next to the kitchen table, in front of the three people most important to him, and asked me to be his wife.  🙂  I cried and said yes and we hugged and kissed.  The boys continued to eat their McNuggets–apparently nothing, even a marriage proposal, can get a kid’s attention if McNuggets are present.


Perhaps the boys would have been more interested in a proposal like this?

Once I got control of my emotions, I told the boys that this meant we would have a wedding and they could be in it.  They got a bit more excited at that point…probably because most of the McNuggets were gone.  I called my mom in Kentucky to tell her the good news, and we celebrated with a cocktail and an evening with the boys.  (Side note:  I had to take a shower because I was so sweaty after he proposed.  I also spent a significant portion of the evening randomly bursting into tears–happiness overload.)

So there you have it–the story of our engagement!  We’re planning to get married in a year, maybe a year and a half, and have already started talking about location and all those other fun wedding things.  We appreciate every single phone call, text, Facebook post, and positive thought we’ve received; we can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together, especially with our great families and awesome friends!


I finally showed JB my secret wedding Pinterest board!