Category Archives: She. Me. Her.

Life Updates: October Stress, November Fun, and Why I Didn’t Give Up on My Monthly Video Goal

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Welcome back to the blog! It’s been a little while, and today I’m sharing the story behind my latest YouTube video — a two-month recap that covers the whirlwind of October and the much-needed joy of November.

If you’ve been following along, you know I set a personal goal to post one video every month this year. And then… October happened. Life got overwhelming, I felt stretched thin, and even though I recorded a video, I didn’t end up posting it.

At first, I felt disappointed in myself. Missing that goal felt like a failure. But with some distance (and a very grounding therapy session), I realized something important:
Sometimes not hitting a goal is actually a sign of growth.

🍂 October: Stressful, Heavy, and Human

October was a tough month. My schedule was packed, my emotions were high, and the video I filmed ended up being more sensitive and vulnerable than I expected. Looking back now, I’m grateful I didn’t publish it. Some things are meant to be worked through with a therapist, not uploaded to the internet.

And that’s okay.
That’s me choosing my mental health over consistency — and I’m proud of that.

✨ November: Busy in the Best Way

November came with its own kind of busyness, but this time, it was joyful. I went on a cruise to celebrate my dad’s 60th birthday, and it was exactly the kind of reset I needed. I also got to attend my first-ever NFL game!

Jack White performed during halftime…
AND we had a surprise appearance from a certain 8 Mile legend. 👀
That moment alone was worth the chaos of the past two months.

🎄 Looking Ahead

December’s video is still up in the air, but with holiday prep and early thoughts about my 2026 goals, I’ll definitely have things to share. This season always brings reflection, intention setting, and a little sparkle — and I’m excited to bring you along!

💛 A Final Thought

I didn’t meet my monthly video goal, but I also didn’t quit. This two-month update is me choosing progress over perfection, and I hope it reminds you that we’re allowed to be human while we grow.

If you want the full story, you can watch the video here:
👉 I Didn’t Hit My Goal…But I Didn’t Give Up: October & November Updates

Thanks for sticking with me — through the stress, the joy, and everything in between.

3 Life Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Sooner (+ a Birthday Bonus Lesson)

Posted in Normal People Things, She. Me. Her. by

It’s my birthday today 🎉—and while birthdays usually mean cake, candles, and maybe a little champagne, this year I’m in a more reflective mood. As I joked in my latest video, I’m an “old bitch” now (truly love that for me), and I’ve realized there are some lessons I really wish I’d picked up sooner in life.

So instead of keeping them to myself, I decided to share them. Here are 3 life lessons (plus a bonus one) that I’m finally learning:

1. Your body will betray you.
Getting older means realizing that your body isn’t invincible. The aches, pains, and slower recovery times are real. If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to move more, stay active, and take health seriously before it became non-negotiable.

2. F*ck the haters—they suck.
I spent too much of my life worrying about what other people thought of me. Truth is, the haters will always hate, and their opinions don’t matter. Life feels lighter when you stop performing for others and start living for yourself.

3. Put your phone down and actually enjoy your life.
Scrolling is easy, but it doesn’t feed the soul. These days I’m learning to find joy in the little things—like walks in nature, good food, or just noticing the world around me. Life is too short to miss it because of a screen.

✨ Bonus Lesson: Don’t just survive—live!
It’s not enough to just make it through the day. As I enter my 38th year on Planet Earth, I want to create moments worth remembering, embrace joy where I can, and make the most of this one life.

🎥 Watch the full video here: Birthday Wisdom from an Old B*tch 🎉 3 Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

So here’s to another year older, hopefully wiser, and definitely bolder! If any of these lessons resonate with you, I’d love to hear which one hits home the most.

#lifelessons #birthdayreflections #selfgrowth #gettingolder #authenticity #selfcare

Skin, Hair, and Healing: Reflecting on August & Resetting for September

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August was… a lot. Some months just feel heavier than others, and this was definitely one of them. Professionally, emotionally, mentally—it stretched me more than I expected.

When life feels overwhelming, I’ve learned that my daily habits—like caring for my skin and hair—can make a big difference. They’re routines that ground me, remind me that I deserve love and care, and help me feel centered again.

In my latest video, I share:
💆🏽‍♀️ My daily skin and hair care routines
🌧️ A little honesty about why August was rough
🌱 The goals I’m setting for September to help me reset and move forward

It’s part self-care, part life update, part fresh start.

🎥 Watch the full video here: Self-Care + Real Talk: Daily Routines, August Struggles & September Intentions

If August wasn’t your best month either, maybe September can be our chance to reset together. ✨ Here’s to new goals, gentler self-talk, and giving ourselves the space to grow!

#skincareroutine #haircareroutine #monthlyreset #septembergoals #selfcarejourney #healing

Smoothie Bowls & Self-Compassion: Notes from a Recovering Perfectionist

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This month, I filmed something a little different: a quick video from my car talking about something that’s been on my heart lately—perfectionism.

More specifically: recovering from it.

Perfectionism has been a quiet thread in so many parts of my life—how I show up, how I measure success, even how I speak to myself. And while I’ve gotten better at noticing it, unlearning it is still a process.

If you’ve ever felt like your worth is tied to your performance, or like you’re never doing quite enough—this one’s for you.

🎥 Watch the full video here: Smoothie Bowl Therapy: Letting Go of Perfectionism

It’s not polished. It’s not planned. But it’s honest—and that feels like a step forward.

#recoveringperfectionist #selfcompassion #imperfectionism #carvlog #slowgrowth #mentalhealthblog #blackwomenover30 #blackgirlmagic

A Quick Walk, a Little Library, and a Tiny Burst of Joy

Posted in Normal People Things, She. Me. Her. by

Sometimes, all it takes is a short walk to reset your energy—and that’s exactly what I needed when I filmed my latest video.

In this vlog, I take you with me on a brief stroll around my neighborhood. Nothing fancy, just a moment to breathe, stretch my legs, and reconnect with the world around me. Along the way, I passed blooming flowers, smiling neighbors, and one of my favorite things: a little free library.It’s a simple video, but it reminded me how much beauty exists in the everyday—how just 10 or 15 minutes outside can shift your mood in the best way.

Did I find a literary gem I simply HAD to take home? You’ll have to watch to find out! 📚😉

🎥 Watch the video here: The Walk I Didn’t Know I Needed

If you’ve been feeling drained or stuck lately, I highly recommend taking your own short walk. You never know what small magic you might find!

#neighborhoodwalk #slowliving #littlefreelibrary #dailyvlog #simplejoys #mindfulmoments

Coping with My Father’s Death, Re-Parenting My Inner Child, and Choosing to Heal Out Loud

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After almost a year away from this blog, I’m returning with a topic that’s deeply personal and incredibly important to me: healing from parental loss and learning how to re-parent my inner child.

In my latest YouTube video, I open up about my father, who passed away when I was young. His birthday recently came around, and with it came a wave of reflection—about grief, memory, and the impact his absence (and his struggle with alcoholism) has had on my life.

If you’ve ever lost a parent, especially one you had a complicated relationship with, you might understand how grief can resurface in quiet but powerful ways. In the video, I talk about how I’ve carried that loss, how it shows up in my adult life, and how I’ve been working to heal through the practice of re-parenting.

What is re-parenting the inner child?
It’s a form of self-care and emotional healing that involves nurturing the younger parts of yourself—especially the ones that didn’t get the support, protection, or love they needed growing up. For me, it’s become a core part of how I’m learning to feel safe in the world again, to be gentle with myself, and to process grief in an intentional way.

This video is one of the most vulnerable things I’ve shared, but I believe in showing up honestly. If you’re navigating your own grief, healing from childhood trauma, or exploring how to reconnect with your inner child, I hope it resonates with you.

📺 Watch the video here: YouTube | Ashley Litsey
📌 Topics covered in the video:

  • Coping with the death of a parent
  • Grieving an alcoholic parent
  • Healing through re-parenting
  • Emotional self-care and inner child work
  • Navigating grief anniversaries

Trigger Warning: This video includes mentions of alcoholism and the death of a parent. Please prioritize your wellbeing as you watch.

Thank you for being here. Whether you’ve been following my journey or just found this post through a search, I hope it offers something gentle and real.

Small Business Spotlight: Renee Equestrian

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We’re taking a short break from the She Is series to highlight an up-and-coming small business working to increase accessibility to the equestrian industry. I sat down with Amber Mitchell, owner of Renee Equestrian, to discuss how her business is breaking barriers.

Share the story behind your decision to start your own business, particularly in a field that’s traditionally been exclusive and lacking diversity.
I had long contemplated starting my own business, but I often felt that the timing wasn’t optimal or that I lacked sufficient resources or a solid foundation. However, I recently had a realization. Throughout my life, regardless of where I’ve lived, horses have always been a constant presence. I interpreted this as a sign from a higher power. Upon deeper reflection, I concluded that waiting for the “perfect” moment is futile; one must simply take action. Consequently, I decided to pursue Reneè Equestrian.

Breaking stereotypes and shattering barriers are central themes in your business mission. How do you see your business contributing to a more inclusive equestrian world, and what steps have you taken to realize this vision?
I see my business contributing to a more inclusive equestrian world by serving as a valuable resource for minorities interested in exploring and expanding their knowledge of horses. A significant stride I’ve made towards promoting inclusivity in the equestrian sphere is the establishment of a collegiate equestrian team at a Historically Black College and University (HBCU).

Establishing an equestrian team at an HBCU is an ambitious and impactful goal. What inspired you to pursue this particular initiative, and what challenges do you anticipate in bringing it to fruition?
During my time on the equestrian team at the University of Alabama, I observed a lack of diversity among riders, particularly a scarcity of black riders. Having competed in the eventing discipline since the age of 8, I always hoped to find a riding partner who shared my background but struggled to do so. One of the primary challenges I anticipate facing is potential resistance from the school due to concerns regarding risk and liability. Working with horses, or any animals for that matter, inherently involves some level of risk. However, I diligently adhere to the Certified Horsemanship Association (CHA) rules to prioritize the safety of both riders and horses.

As a Black woman navigating the equestrian industry, what unique experiences or insights do you bring to your business that set you apart from others in the field?
This is such a fun question! One aspect that sets me apart is my deep appreciation for my cultural identity, which I proudly wear on my body! For instance, I enjoy riding with fake nails and expressing myself through vibrant colors and patterned belts in my equestrian attire. Additionally, as a black woman in the equestrian world, I take pride in being a representative for other black equestrians. For instance, I aspire to create a book titled “Riding Is For Everyone,” which would highlight ways to make riding accessible and inclusive for individuals from all backgrounds. This could include guidance on accommodating different hairstyles while ensuring safety and respect.

What specific services and programs does your business offer? What training methods do you use?
I currently offer beginner lessons both mounted and unmounted, but you must have your own horse. I follow the rules of the Certified Horsemanship Association (CHA) to prioritize the safety of both riders and horses. Many of my teachings come from CHA, USPC (United States Pony Club), and my coaches/trainers.

Many individuals may be inspired by your mission and eager to support your efforts in promoting diversity and inclusion in equestrian sports. What are some specific ways members of the public can support your business?
Thank you for asking this question! To contribute, please contact me directly via email or visit reneeequestrian.com and complete the contact form. This approach allows me to provide you with detailed information about your donation’s impact. I prefer to go this route as opposed to simply accepting money because I think it is important for you to feel proud of your donation and the change you are contributing to. Donations do NOT have to be monetary – we also accept new/used tack and apparel. Contributions will be allocated towards acquiring safe and suitable apparel and tack for our riders and horses, as well as covering horse feed and maintenance, competition fees, facility access, insurance coverage, riders scholarships, and other essential needs. Other ways to support it are by word of mouth and social media (@ridewrenee on Instagram) exposure. Once we become more established volunteers will be welcomed as well.

For individuals interested in learning more about your business, what are the primary channels through which they can contact you?
The best way to learn more about my business and the mission please visit reneeequestrian.com or reach out to me via email or by phone (773-936-6396). Either way I am happy to talk to you! 🙂

She Is: Values Pt. 3

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This post is part of a series. To get the full experience, start here.

Equality: the quality or state of being equal.

Merriam-Webster

Well I’ll be dipped. I had no idea there were so many ways to define the word equal.

When choosing my final 8 core values, I went back and forth on including equality. My mind leapt to the first definition of the term: “of the same measure, quantity, amount, or number as another.” Mathematical and direct. It doesn’t matter what you need–everybody gets the exact same thing.

As someone who read the dictionary for fun as a kid, you’d think I would know better.

As I prepared to write this post, I found unexpected delight and relief at definition 1c: “like for each member of a group, class, or society.” Now that’s more like it! I was using the scientific definition in a social context. This alternate definition of equality frames the word in the context of people. This definition is the one in my heart, the one I truly value.

Humans weren’t created with a mold. We all have various experiences and identities that make us who we are. Some facets of our lives are outside of our control; others are chosen. Some make it easier for us to move through the world. Unfortunately, others cause challenges due to what they represent in society.

And that’s the part that needs to change.

The deepest desire of my heart is a world where everyone’s needs are met and people are cool with it. No one feels angry, or bitter, or resentful, or jealous–we all get what we need based on where we’re at in life. A world where we all understand that some of us need more and others need less. A world where we lift each other up so we call can thrive.

She Is: Values Pt. 2

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This post is part of a series. To get the full experience, start here.

Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

Merriam-Webster

In elementary school, we had a ritual that laid the foundation. At the start of each day, a short greeting and some specific instructions echoed from the loudspeaker at the front of the room: Stand beside your desk, say the Pledge of Allegiance, and repeat this mantra:

“I am special.
I am responsible for my actions.
I am going to do my best work today.”

I repeated those three sentences every day from kindergarten through fourth grade, so I can’t say I’m shocked they stuck. Add in a Black mama who didn’t play about decorum plus my Virgo sun sign and the “A” in my initials might as well stand for Accountable.

I’ve always felt an obligation and a willingness to accept responsibility for my actions. It is my duty to hold myself accountable to my own personal convictions and be the person my mama raised me to be, a kind, generous, productive, contributing member of society. I also really like being the person who does what they say they’ll do, someone others can rely on. When people think of me, I want them think of someone who says what she means, means what she says, and isn’t afraid to admit when she’s wrong.

It frustrates me that others aren’t as accountable. I know I hold myself to some pretty high standards (I am very, very much a Virgo) but sometimes I wonder why some people refuse to take the tiniest bit of accountability. Too many folks make excuses, act wishy-washy, or have a million and one reasons why everyone else is at fault but them.

I’ll use myself as an example! I wholeheartedly intended to post updates to this series every week. But for a whole host of reasons, this post didn’t go up when I wanted. I didn’t do exactly what I said I would.

I could blame my job for keeping me busy. Or my husband and dog for needing my attention. Or even my iPad for not having enough battery!

But that isn’t accountability.

Instead, I will acknowledge that the post is late (which it is). I will apologize if that upset anyone (sorry about that y’all). And in the future, I’ll do my best to post on time (and hopefully y’all will give me grace if I am late sometimes).

Nobody’s perfect, but we can all try to hold ourselves accountable for our actions. We can all take responsibility for the actions we take and the energy we put into the world, even when we mess up.

She Is: Values Pt. 1

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As promised in my last post, I’m back to share my 8 core values from Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead list. The values I hold most deeply are:

  • Accountability
  • Equality
  • Financial Stability
  • Honesty
  • Independence
  • Loyalty
  • Perseverance
  • Reliability

To get to this list, I narrowed the full list of over 100 values down to 24 finalists. My final 8 came from those 24. In the original version of this activity, you should narrow down even further to just 2 or 3 values. However, my therapist recommended choosing 8 because our value system can be complex. And let’s be honest- choosing just 2 or 3 values wouldn’t make of a blog series. 🙂

I expected this exercise to be difficult, but holy dang! A lot of introspection and reflection went into just narrowing the list down. I also really thought about what each value meant, searching for definitions and critically assessing what that word meant to me.

I highly encourage everyone who is on a path of personal growth to identify their own top 8! You can view the full list of values here. By examining our thoughts and motivations, we can better understand ourselves and each other.