Author Archives: deepcurvesahead

Puzzled

Posted in family, Normal People Things by

When was the last time you made something broken whole again?

There is a great satisfaction in seeing individual pieces come together, orchestrating the reunion of so many wayward fragments. My grandmother was fully aware of this, and I hope it was the reason why she passed her love of puzzles on to me.

My grandmother is a firecracker. She isn’t afraid to share her views on the world. In fact, her coworkers nicknamed her Frank…you can guess why. She also enjoys her quiet moments, and one of her pastimes includes working jigsaw puzzles.

I remember spending nights at her apartment in our tiny Kentucky hometown and seeing her 1,000-piece puzzles. Placed on a sheet of poster board, the puzzle quietly occupied a section of her living room floor. She worked on puzzles of lush landscapes or beautiful architecture–a testament to her skill and keen eye.

She taught me her techniques and life lessons at the same time. Separating the edge pieces from the middle ones, completing the frame first, was really a lesson in patience and planning ahead. Keeping all the pieces in the box instructed me to stay organized and take care of my belonging. Laying down the final piece reminded me that even though things seem like they will never come together, eventually everything will connect.

Most of all, I learned to relish quiet moments. We deal with so much noise throughout the day–phone calls and emails and texts and tweets and all of the other interactions we have on a daily basis. Taking a moment to sit down and complete a quiet activity can bring calm to a very hectic world.

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Craftstravaganza: Washi Tape Chore Sticks!

Posted in family, Home Life by

In case y’all didn’t know, my fiance is the father of three of the most hilarious boys I’ve ever met in my life.  Even though they try me sometimes, these kids truly bring joy to my life; I always look forward to hearing their crazy stories and watching them laugh and play.  Since they don’t stay with us full-time, I have been searching for ways to get them more involved in the daily routine at our house.  A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the idea of getting paid to do work around the house and they were really excited about it, so I did what I always do in situations like these–logged into Pinterest to search for inspiration.  This is where I got the idea of creating chore sticks.  Not only was this craft super easy, it was also pretty cheap–I got all of the supplies for under $10!

Chore sticks for the boys!

Finished product!

Here are the supplies you’ll need for this project:

  • Craft sticks (approx. $4 at craft store–I chose the wide ones and there were 60 in the package)
  • Washi tape (approx. $2/roll–easily the most expensive part of the project as I needed a different color for each child)
  • Sharpie marker (free–already had one at home)
  • Jar (also free–I used one that I had already decorated as part of another Pinterest project)

I started by applying tape to the end of each stick so that each boy would know which chores were his to complete.  I thought this would be easier than writing their names on the sticks.    Also, it makes the sticks more colorful and fun!

Washi tape makes doing chores cool.

Washi tape makes doing chores cool.

Once I had all the sticks taped–I ended up with 20 per kid–I started on the hardest part of the project, which was determining which chores to put on the sticks.  I researched age-appropriate chores for an 8, 7, and 4-year old and wrote one chore on the front of each stick.  I decided to write out the chores and not use pictures for a number of reasons:  (1) it was easier for me; (2) it gave the older two boys a chance to practice their reading; and (3) it gave the youngest boy a chance to start recognizing letters and words, even though he can’t read yet.

Some of the chores were simple, like clearing the table.  Others were more complicated or time-consuming, like vacuuming the stairs or sweeping the garage and driveway.  Each chore was priced at either $1, $3, or $5; I wrote the price on the back of each stick.  Once they completed a chore, they were allowed to flip the stick over and see how much money they earned.  You can easily add new chores by purchasing more sticks and “swap” sticks by changing the tape.  If the middle boy outgrows a chore, all I have to do is change the tape and it becomes a chore for the youngest.

A dolla makes me holla!

“A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo!”

After I made the sticks, I sat the boys down and explained how the process would work.  Each day they were at our house, they would receive a chore stick (sometimes multiple chore sticks).  It was their responsibility to complete the chores before they left to go back to their mom’s house.  In order to be compensated for their chore, it had to pass inspection–either JB or I had to check their work to make sure it was good.  If not, they would not get their money.  Additionally, they could lose money if they misbehaved throughout the week–not listening, being disrespectful, fighting, etc. might cause them to lose a dollar.   Once they completed all their chores for the day, I would pay them their money.  Each boy has two baggies–one labeled “spend” and the other “save.”  They could decide how much money they wanted to save (for a big item like a video game or a tablet) and how much to put aside to spend at the end of the week.

Yesterday was our first time using the sticks and…it was a huge success!  The boys were very excited to see what their chores were for the day and couldn’t wait to get started on them.  I also chose chores that would require them to work together (for example, the middle boy was responsible for gathering all the dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper and the oldest was in charge of taking the dirty clothes downstairs and sorting them) so that they could see how each person doing a small job made the entire house run more smoothly.  Obviously they needed a bit of coaching–making sure the laundry was sorted correctly and whatnot–but overall they did a good job with their chores.  Probably their favorite part was when I gave them their dollars and they were able to put them in their “save” or “spend” bags.  They each got $3 and all three of them decided to save every single dollar!  I’m sure this will change as they earn more money, but I was really proud to hear them talk about “saving lots and lots of dollars” to buy something they really wanted.  🙂

Not only did I get to flex my underused craft muscle, I also got a bunch of help around the house for wayyyyyyyy less than the cost of a housekeeper.  It may have taken a bit longer to get things done, but the boys need to learn how to take care of a household so I consider taking the extra time in the short-term as a long-term investment in them–as they continue to complete the chores they will only get better at them.  Also, having the boys complete smaller tasks freed me up to complete some of the larger ones, so everyone wins!

I’ll keep y’all updated on our progress as we continue to use these.  You can also find my original inspiration for this craft (as well as the list of age-appropriate chores I drew from) on my Pinterest page.  Happy crafting!

The Story of Us

Posted in family, Home Life by

You wake up thinking it’s just an ordinary Tuesday, and then you end up getting engaged.  Who knew?  I surely didn’t.  But yesterday the love of my life asked me to marry him.

I Said Yes

Sorry to ruin the surprise, everyone.

The story begins awhile back.  JB and I started dating about two years ago have always known that this relationship would go somewhere (at least I did anyway).  We had a few instances of wedding talk–even browsed engagement rings online so he’d have an idea of what I liked–but nothing super serious happened until a few weeks ago.  JB mentioned casually that we should go look at some engagement rings at a store so I could try them on.  We went to Kesslers, a local jewelry chain, and ended up purchasing a ring that day. We also took note of which wedding bands we wanted to purchase and tried those on as well.  Side note:  If anyone reading this is in Wisconsin and is looking for diamond jewelry, I highly recommend Kesslers.  The staff was amazing, the price was reasonable, and the jewelry is beautiful!

My engagement ring wouldn’t be ready for a week, so we patiently waited seven days to pick it up.  Once JB picked up the ring, I started living in a constant state of anxiety.  I wasn’t having panic attacks or anything, but I did constantly wonder when “it” would happen.  I also painted my nails just in case I needed to take ring pictures–a girl can never be too prepared.  (Side note:  My home manicure was long gone by the time he actually proposed–this is why gel manicures are so wonderful.)  I accidentally found the ring in his sock drawer when I was putting away laundry one day, and I guess he figured that out because the next time I went to put away his socks, the ring was mysteriously absent.  Word of wisdom to all you men out there:  Don’t hide surprises for your lady near clothes if she’s the one doing the laundry.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I had to work and JB was off, so I asked him if he wanted to have lunch with me.  He said he’d let me know and I went on to work.  During breaks I checked Facebook on occasion and noticed that JB had tagged me in a few things:  two music videos (both super romantic songs) and an album of pictures of the ring!  Once he picked me up for lunch, I thought he was acting a bit strangely but brushed it off.  We had a quick lunch, then he dropped me back off at work.  We checked in a few more times after lunch, then I left work to head home.  JB wasn’t there when I arrived–he had to pick up the boys from school–so I got to work making a marinade for some pork chops (Side note:  We are actually having these pork chops tonight–I’ll let y’all know if they turn out okay.)

A few minutes later, JB and the boys trooped in.  He got them settled at the table with some food from McDonalds, then grabbed me and said he had an announcement.  He said that I was a very special woman…very beautiful…and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  (Side note:  This is when I broke out into the type of sweat most often experienced when an extremely high fever breaks).  He dropped to one knee right there next to the kitchen table, in front of the three people most important to him, and asked me to be his wife.  🙂  I cried and said yes and we hugged and kissed.  The boys continued to eat their McNuggets–apparently nothing, even a marriage proposal, can get a kid’s attention if McNuggets are present.

Nuggets

Perhaps the boys would have been more interested in a proposal like this?

Once I got control of my emotions, I told the boys that this meant we would have a wedding and they could be in it.  They got a bit more excited at that point…probably because most of the McNuggets were gone.  I called my mom in Kentucky to tell her the good news, and we celebrated with a cocktail and an evening with the boys.  (Side note:  I had to take a shower because I was so sweaty after he proposed.  I also spent a significant portion of the evening randomly bursting into tears–happiness overload.)

So there you have it–the story of our engagement!  We’re planning to get married in a year, maybe a year and a half, and have already started talking about location and all those other fun wedding things.  We appreciate every single phone call, text, Facebook post, and positive thought we’ve received; we can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together, especially with our great families and awesome friends!

Pinterest

I finally showed JB my secret wedding Pinterest board!

Us vs. Us

Posted in General by

In Kentucky, a rivalry exists so severe it has torn apart families, ruined friendship, and divided the entire state.  I ain’t talking about the Hatfields and the McCoys, y’all.  I’m talking about the Kentucky Wildcats vs. the Louisville Cardinals.

Yes, Kentucky is such a blessed place (if you don’t believe me, ask Daniel Boone) that it has not one but TWO freakin’ awesome collegiate basketball teams.  This means one has a choice to make–Cardinals or Wildcats?!?  Those of us who were raised in the good ole’ bluegrass know just how serious this decision is.  It’s kind of like choosing a faction in Divergent–you can go your own way, but expect your mom to cry if you do.

Divergent

“We’ll still love you no matter what you choose…as long as it’s Kentucky.”

And where there’s a rivalry, there is also a plethora of shit talking.  Actually, shit talking occurs generally as a part of sports (rivalry or not) but Kentucky and Louisville fans take it to a whole ‘nother level–usually when talking shit to one another.  Some of the jokes are funny…

Math

If you’re mathematically challenged, you may not get it.

..but others are mean, spiteful, or stupid.

Stupid

If you’re making decisions like these, your basketball preference should be the least of our concerns.

At the end of the tournament, both teams represented the Bluegrass State in a way that should make us proud.  Why do we need to sling insults at one another?  I’ll bleed blue until the day I die (that means I’m a Kentucky fan for those of you not from ’round here) but at the end of the day, a win from either team is a STATE win.  So lighten up everyone–root for your team, but don’t be mean.

Perfect

A win for either is a win for all of us.

That Was Her Way

Posted in family by

One year ago today, my great-aunt Aloma passed away.  Known to me as Granny Loma, she played a recurring role in my childhood.  In summers she hosted far-flung relatives and Independence Day barbecues.  The other seasons felt her presence too; Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas parties, Easter Egg hunts in the field behind her house.  You could stop by whenever to talk to her, and she always had something to say–and no qualms about saying it either.

On my trips back home after moving to Madison, she was the one I made a point to visit.  She made sure I left with a wise word and a joke (and frequently a strawberry shortcake, my favorite of her desserts).  She called me when my mother and I argued to make sure I understood my mother’s perspective and hers too–protect your children, guard your family.  Let them learn but never leave them lonely.  Tell them the truth but understand their lives are their own.

She was the type of woman that spoke her mind without hesitation–there was never a question of how she felt or what she thought.  She had five kids of her own and helped raised everyone else’s too.  When she told you to do something, you did it (and heaven forbid if she had to tell you twice).  She lived in big t-shirts and white tennis shoes.  Her hair was always flawless.  She sang beautifully and loved the Lord with all her heart.  She was the matriarch of our family, our center of gravity.

I told myself I should ask more questions while she was here, but the opportunities passed; the moments slipped by.  Of course now more than ever I want to know her yellow cake recipe, how to can vegetables, what it felt like to to be a wife at 14.  The things I took for granted as a college student, juggling classes with work and extracurriculars, interest me most in my new day of home and career.  The answers I look everywhere to find were five minutes away on Tanner Rd. all this time.

Somewhere–in the warmest, friendliest corner of Heaven, Granny Loma is preparing a feast to welcome us when we join her.  To give of all of us–her husband, children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, and anyone who needs it–a warm smile, a big hug, and words of truth spoken with heartfelt sincerity.  That was her way.

Sept. 13, 1942-April 2, 2013

Sept. 13, 1942 – April 2, 2013

Thank You

God doesn’t always come when you think you need Him, but He’s always right on time.

Two years ago today, I met a man who would change my life forever.  After I ended my engagement in January 2012, I decided that I needed to focus on my relationship with God and my relationship with myself.  I wasn’t looking for love–in fact, I had sworn off men altogether.  But God orders your steps according to His will, not yours.  And on March 24, 2012, I received one of the biggest blessings of my life.

As part of my fresh new start, I had packed up my belongings and hired a local moving company to help me get settled into a new apartment.  One of the movers engaged me in conversation, politely offering to show me around Madison sometime.  As he was leaving, I gave him a business card with my cell number on the back.  He called me as soon as he got back into the moving truck.  🙂  And now, two years later, our relationship remains.

There are so many reasons why I love him.  He’s hilarious, but isn’t afraid to have a serious conversation.  He’s hardworking and generous.  He’s strong.  He’s brave.  He’s a great son and an even better father.  He’s ambitious and isn’t afraid to go after his dreams.  He makes me feel beautiful.  He teaches me something new about the world every single day.  And though we’ve had our ups and downs, he’s still here loving me exactly the way I am…even when I don’t love myself.

Every day that we wake up next to each other is a good day.  We talk about our future together all the time–the business we’ll own and the trips we’ll take.  But I really don’t care what we’re doing, as long as we’re doing it together and for the glory of God.

So to my Bae, thank you for these two years together.  Thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve made (and I know there have been a lot of them).  Thank you for staying and fighting for us.  And most of all, thank you for showing up to work that day.  🙂

At "prom" in 2012.

At “prom” in 2012.

At a friend's wedding in 2014.

At a friend’s wedding in 2014.

Naturally Made

Naturally Made

Everywhere I go, I see more and more Black women who’ve embraced their natural hair texture and stopped chemically straightening their hair. I’ve been natural for a few years now and I love it! When I look in the mirror, I finally see me. But I haven’t always felt this way.

I can remember sitting in our kitchen getting my hair hot combed–and my ears burned–until I was able to “graduate” to a Just for Me relaxer when I turned five. The relaxers left me with scalp burns, limp strands, and sometimes even hair loss. But straight hair was “pretty” and what girl doesn’t want to feel pretty? As a little black girl in a mostly white town, all I wanted was the long, straight hair my classmates had. When I moved to Wisconsin, my biggest priority wasn’t finding an apartment but finding a hair salon so I wouldn’t miss a relaxer.

But that was then, and this is now. Now I know that beautiful comes in all hair textures, and I’ve embraced mine. Natural hair definitely takes work and I respect that some women choose to continue relaxing. But God makes no mistakes; all of His children are beautifully and wonderfully made–hair included.

This curly ‘do was achieved after a couple of weeks of flat ironing (which loosened my naturally curl pattern quite a bit) and two-strand twisting. More details on my naturally hair routine coming in a future post, so stay tuned!

This carnival ride…

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A few days ago, I got word that my aunt (my father’s sister) passed away.

As a child, I spent a lot of time with my father’s side of the family—summertime barbecues, holiday gatherings.  After my parent’s divorce, those weekends and holidays became less frequent.  It shames me to say this, but I hadn’t seen my aunt in years–probably since my father’s funeral in 2000.  There are occasional phone calls from my paternal grandmother, but I’m not close with them like I am with my mom’s side of the family.  

Thanks to Facebook, I was able to keep up with my aunt’s progress even though I couldn’t see her in person.  She had been sick for some time–close to death at least once–but her passing came as a surprise.  I spoke with my grandmother this morning on the phone and she just kept saying, “She was doing so well…”  I guess this is a true testament that God calls us home in His time.

Sometimes tragedy is the catalyst that families need to come closer together.  Who knows if my aunt’s passing will change the way I interact with my father’s side of the family, but it is a definite reminder that life is precious–we only get one go on this carnival ride called life, so make sure yours is one to remember. 

The Thought That Counts

After a brief holiday hiatus, I’m back with another post! Sorry for the delay, but in the rush of Christmas, New Years, and heading back to work it’s been difficult to find time to post.

This Christmas I decided to make my mom something special to show her how much she means to me.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to appreciate the thoughfulness of a handmade gift.  It is so nice knowing that someone took time (as well as money and other resources) to create something just for you.  Anyone can go buy a gift–it’s truly special to make something for someone.

With that in mind–and an ever growing Pinterest addiction–I found the perfect project:  a word punch collage!  (You can find the original pin here.)  A quick trip to Goodwill and a few hours of my time later, I had a gift my mom loved.  Here’s how I did it:

Materials:

  • Picture frame
  • Photo mat
  • Old book or dictionary
  • Paper punches (one for the words, another for the accent square at the end)
  • Scrapbook paper
  • Two-sided tape
  • Glue stick
  • Small paint brush (optional)
  • Paint for frame (optional)

I picked up the picture frame (which included a photo mat) and an old dictionary from the Goodwill down the street.  I purchased the paper punch (a small square with scalloped edges) from Michael’s; you can use any shape punch you want–just make sure it is large enough to get your entire word.  Scrapbook paper, glue stick, paint brush, and paint I already had at home, though you can grab those at your local craft store.

First, I painted the picture frame black.  This step is completely optional–the frame I bought was a lighter wood that DEFINITELY wouldn’t have matched my mom’s bedroom.  I anchored the scrapbook paper (a burgundy color to match my mom’s bedroom) to the photo mat with two-sided tape..

Then came the most helpful part–I punched out some “test” squares to see how many I needed to fill my frame.  This was extremely helpful as it gave me the number of words I needed to punch out as well as helped me get my lines straight before I started gluing.  If y’all are anything like me, don’t skip this part–I didn’t want to make my mommy cross-eyed because I can’t make a straight line.

Once I knew how many words I needed, I proceeded to the most fun part–going through the dictionary and finding things to describe my mom.  I frequently describe her as a “badass”…but I couldn’t find that word in my dictionary.  I did, however, find things like fearless…warrior…kind…foster (since she was a foster parent)…and the list goes on.  I honestly could have done this forever; my mother is such a wonderful person and there are a thousand great adjectives for her.

After the punching was complete, I laid out my squares; I rearranged the words a number of times to make sure I didn’t have a bunch of words that started with the same letter near each other, I didn’t make any weird phrases, etc.  I then proceeded to gluing the squares to the scrapbook paper;  just rub the back of the square on the glue stick and place it where you want.  This part actually went fairly quickly; I did one row at a time to make sure they stayed straight.  I also made an “accent” square at the end of the last row (just one of my test squares and a flower from another paper punch) for a little pizzazz.

Once my frame was dry, I reassembled and voila!  An easy, affordable, handmade gift for the most important lady in my life.  This wasn’t the only gift I gave her–she’s had her eye on a new blender for quite some time–but she truly seemed to appreciate it.  It is already hanging in her bedroom next to a collage I made her years ago for Mother’s Day.  🙂  Check out the finished project on my Pinterest page!

Christmas should be a time of togetherness, of good cheer, of peace on Earth.  Please remember the real reason we celebrate–not for gifts, but for the birth of God’s son and the gift of everlasting life for those who believe in Him.  Remember this each day, love one another, and be blessed!