Category Archives: Normal People Things

#100HappyDays

Posted in entertainment, family, For I Am His, General, Home Life, Normal People Things, She. Me. Her., Work Life by

Hello again, friends!

Lately, I’ve been struggling with appreciation.  There are a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now (personal, professional, even legal) that can make seeing the beautiful things in life very hard to do.  Therefore, for the next 100 days, I will post something that makes me happy and tag it with #100HappyDays to make myself reflect on the positive aspects of my life.  These posts will include people, places, things, whatever–anything that makes me happy is eligible for the 100HappyDays hashtag.  🙂

Day 1:  This blog makes me happy!  Even though I don’t update every day (or even every month) I enjoy having this space to voice my opinions.  There are some things I want to share with the entire world; this blog gives me the opportunity to get those thoughts and ideas out to a wide audience.  There are some times when I’m sad, lonely, scared, angry, or just need to vent–this blog is the safe space I need to get those feelings out.

(PS:  I got this idea from my friend/coworker Nicole.  Check out her awesome blog here!)

Rude Girl

Posted in Normal People Things by

Apparently, I’m rude.

I mean, I didn’t even curse!  No personal insults or attacks.  Not even an angry emoji or two. Just a single iMessage after multiple disappointments:

“I said before I want a friendship with someone who has time and energy to hang out with me.  I don’t think that is you. Best of luck in the future, but do not contact me again.”

In the words of Queen Bey “you must not know ’bout me” because, baby–I can show you rude if you really wanna see it. I purposefully waited a day before responding because my original response was hella rude.

He must have also conveniently forgotten that his rude behavior caused this reaction.  I mean, he was the one who:

  1. Disappeared for MONTHS after our first date–no phone call, text, telegram, smoke signal, NOTHING.
  2. Randomly popped back into my life expecting me to forget I hadn’t heard from him in literally five months.  He asked me if he could “make it up to me” which he did by…
  3. Continuously made sexual innuendos and constantly commented on my body, which made me extremely uncomfortable. (When I asked him to stop, he said he would “back off.” I didn’t ask you to back off, sir. I asked you to STOP.)
  4. Touched my hair without my permission.  Like, not just a pat–his hands were IN MY HAIR.  (To his credit, he stopped when I asked, but please don’t touch me without my permission. That is very, very rude.)
  5. Telling me he didn’t feel like making the drive to see me (after I drove to see him the last time we hung out) and making plans with me, but cancelling the day of because his “night kinda disappeared with a bunch of stuff.”  <~~~WTF does that even mean?

So, sir–if being up front about not wanting inconsistent people in my life is rude, then I don’t want to be polite.

Boy, bye. 

Ashley in Tinder-land

Posted in Normal People Things, She. Me. Her. by

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I must be mad, y’all.  Sunday night, I did something I swore I’d never do again…

I got back on Tinder.

Now, my previous Tinder experiences have been lackluster at best.  (Yes, at BEST.)  Some of the men I’ve had the displeasure of meeting include:

…the one who asked me (before we’d ever met) if I liked to give head.

…the one who (after a pretty great date) disappeared for five months, then tried to come back into my life only to be too busy to spend time with me.

…the one who (again, before we’d ever met) called me damaged because I refused to cosign on his claim that he was the best thing that ever happened to me EVEN THOUGH I HAD NEVER MET HIM.  He claimed I was “choosing a Buick over a Bentley” (whatever that means).

…the one who sexually harassed me, then bashed Black women (a.k.a. women who look just like me) on Facebook.

…the one who had a girlfriend the entire time we were dating.  His girlfriend actually contacted me to find out the details of our relationship.

Y’all can see why Tinder-land wasn’t a place I wanted to stay for an extended period of time.

But because I’m optimistic–or a glutton for punishment, I’m not quite sure–I’ve decided to give it another try because I want to find love.  My last relationship was pretty terrible.  My Tinder experiences weren’t much better.  But through it all, I’ve learned a few things:

  • Distancing myself from toxic people is okay.  In fact, it is necessary for my personal sanity.
  • I don’t owe anyone anything.  A man doesn’t deserve a date, an explanation, or a minute of my time just because he decided to speak to me.
  • I shouldn’t settle for just anyone.  The man God has for me will be all I need him to be.
  • High standards yield high results. Holding myself to a higher standard (and expecting the same from the men I interact with) will help me weed out the ones who don’t deserve me.
  • Self-love is a prerequisite to a loving relationship.  In the words of one of my role models, RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”
  • I am worthy of unconditional love.

So with all of those lessons learned, I’m ready to head back to Tinder-land.  Lewis Carroll said it better than I ever could:

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

Here we go…

My Kind of Christmas (List)

Posted in Normal People Things by

Happy holidays, everyone! Thanksgiving is over so I feel no shame in decking the halls and spreading Christmas cheer all over the place. 🙂

The beautiful LancoraPerla (check out her awesome blog here) was kind enough to include me in her Christmas Tag! Check out some fun facts about my holiday traditions and share some of your own in the comments. 🙂

  • Favorite Christmas Film? A Christmas Story! (The struggle was real for poor Ralphie.) I also enjoy Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original cartoon version) and This Christmas.
  • Ever had a white Christmas? Yes! In Kentucky (where I grew up) I saw a number of of snowy or icy Christmases. I’ve lived in Wisconsin for the past five years so I’ve also had a white Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Presidents Day, and April Fools Day. 🙂
  • Where do you usually spend your holiday? Christmas just doesn’t feel like Christmas if I’m not celebrating in Kentucky with my family. I did spend one Christmas in San Francisco, California, but every other Christmas has been in the Bluegrass State.
  • Favorite Christmas song? How can I pick just one??? Let It Snow by Boyz II Men is definitely up there; those harmonies are amazing. Christmas Time by Backstreet Boys is another favorite. Christmas Wrapping by Waitresses, practically any version of The Christmas Song, every single track on My Kind of Christmas by Christina Aguilera–the list goes on and on!

 

A sample of my Christmas playlist.

 

  • Is your tree real or fake? Fake. I’ve never had a real Christmas tree; they seem like too much work. 🙂 The tree that I currently have in my house originally belonged to my mom, so I’ve had the same tree for almost my whole life!

My mom passed this tree down to me. I decorate it in pink and green every year–my sorority colors!

 

  • All-time favorite holiday food? My great-aunt Aloma always made the most delicious jam cake at Christmas time. She used homemade jam and topped it with the most delicious caramel icing. Since she passed away, I’ve really missed it.
  • Best Christmas gift you’ve ever received? This is a tough one as I’ve gotten many wonderful gifts from my family and friends over the years. A gift I’m still enjoying today is a cherry bedroom set–my mother got it for me in high school and it’s still in my bedroom. My brother also got me a gorgeous cardigan that I get compliments on every time I wear it.

 

My “big little” brother picked out this sweater all on his own–I love it!

 

  • What made you realize the truth about Santa? I think my cousin told me when I was in elementary school. If I have children, I probably won’t raise them to believe in Santa. I want them to believe that we give gifts to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and to show each other that we care.
  • What makes the holidays special for you? The family togetherness is what makes Christmas truly special for me. It is usually the one time of year when every one is home!
  • What’s better, giving or receiving presents? Giving. I love trying to find that special gift for that special person. 🙂

Feel free to tag someone else and continue sharing fun facts about how you celebrate!

 

Family togetherness: the best part of the holiday season!