Tag Archives: happiness

Life Updates: October Stress, November Fun, and Why I Didn’t Give Up on My Monthly Video Goal

Posted in entertainment, family, She. Me. Her. by

Welcome back to the blog! It’s been a little while, and today I’m sharing the story behind my latest YouTube video — a two-month recap that covers the whirlwind of October and the much-needed joy of November.

If you’ve been following along, you know I set a personal goal to post one video every month this year. And then… October happened. Life got overwhelming, I felt stretched thin, and even though I recorded a video, I didn’t end up posting it.

At first, I felt disappointed in myself. Missing that goal felt like a failure. But with some distance (and a very grounding therapy session), I realized something important:
Sometimes not hitting a goal is actually a sign of growth.

🍂 October: Stressful, Heavy, and Human

October was a tough month. My schedule was packed, my emotions were high, and the video I filmed ended up being more sensitive and vulnerable than I expected. Looking back now, I’m grateful I didn’t publish it. Some things are meant to be worked through with a therapist, not uploaded to the internet.

And that’s okay.
That’s me choosing my mental health over consistency — and I’m proud of that.

✨ November: Busy in the Best Way

November came with its own kind of busyness, but this time, it was joyful. I went on a cruise to celebrate my dad’s 60th birthday, and it was exactly the kind of reset I needed. I also got to attend my first-ever NFL game!

Jack White performed during halftime…
AND we had a surprise appearance from a certain 8 Mile legend. 👀
That moment alone was worth the chaos of the past two months.

🎄 Looking Ahead

December’s video is still up in the air, but with holiday prep and early thoughts about my 2026 goals, I’ll definitely have things to share. This season always brings reflection, intention setting, and a little sparkle — and I’m excited to bring you along!

💛 A Final Thought

I didn’t meet my monthly video goal, but I also didn’t quit. This two-month update is me choosing progress over perfection, and I hope it reminds you that we’re allowed to be human while we grow.

If you want the full story, you can watch the video here:
👉 I Didn’t Hit My Goal…But I Didn’t Give Up: October & November Updates

Thanks for sticking with me — through the stress, the joy, and everything in between.

3 Life Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Sooner (+ a Birthday Bonus Lesson)

Posted in Normal People Things, She. Me. Her. by

It’s my birthday today 🎉—and while birthdays usually mean cake, candles, and maybe a little champagne, this year I’m in a more reflective mood. As I joked in my latest video, I’m an “old bitch” now (truly love that for me), and I’ve realized there are some lessons I really wish I’d picked up sooner in life.

So instead of keeping them to myself, I decided to share them. Here are 3 life lessons (plus a bonus one) that I’m finally learning:

1. Your body will betray you.
Getting older means realizing that your body isn’t invincible. The aches, pains, and slower recovery times are real. If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to move more, stay active, and take health seriously before it became non-negotiable.

2. F*ck the haters—they suck.
I spent too much of my life worrying about what other people thought of me. Truth is, the haters will always hate, and their opinions don’t matter. Life feels lighter when you stop performing for others and start living for yourself.

3. Put your phone down and actually enjoy your life.
Scrolling is easy, but it doesn’t feed the soul. These days I’m learning to find joy in the little things—like walks in nature, good food, or just noticing the world around me. Life is too short to miss it because of a screen.

✨ Bonus Lesson: Don’t just survive—live!
It’s not enough to just make it through the day. As I enter my 38th year on Planet Earth, I want to create moments worth remembering, embrace joy where I can, and make the most of this one life.

🎥 Watch the full video here: Birthday Wisdom from an Old B*tch 🎉 3 Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

So here’s to another year older, hopefully wiser, and definitely bolder! If any of these lessons resonate with you, I’d love to hear which one hits home the most.

#lifelessons #birthdayreflections #selfgrowth #gettingolder #authenticity #selfcare

She Is: Values Pt. 3

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This post is part of a series. To get the full experience, start here.

Equality: the quality or state of being equal.

Merriam-Webster

Well I’ll be dipped. I had no idea there were so many ways to define the word equal.

When choosing my final 8 core values, I went back and forth on including equality. My mind leapt to the first definition of the term: “of the same measure, quantity, amount, or number as another.” Mathematical and direct. It doesn’t matter what you need–everybody gets the exact same thing.

As someone who read the dictionary for fun as a kid, you’d think I would know better.

As I prepared to write this post, I found unexpected delight and relief at definition 1c: “like for each member of a group, class, or society.” Now that’s more like it! I was using the scientific definition in a social context. This alternate definition of equality frames the word in the context of people. This definition is the one in my heart, the one I truly value.

Humans weren’t created with a mold. We all have various experiences and identities that make us who we are. Some facets of our lives are outside of our control; others are chosen. Some make it easier for us to move through the world. Unfortunately, others cause challenges due to what they represent in society.

And that’s the part that needs to change.

The deepest desire of my heart is a world where everyone’s needs are met and people are cool with it. No one feels angry, or bitter, or resentful, or jealous–we all get what we need based on where we’re at in life. A world where we all understand that some of us need more and others need less. A world where we lift each other up so we call can thrive.

She Is: Values Pt. 2

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This post is part of a series. To get the full experience, start here.

Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

Merriam-Webster

In elementary school, we had a ritual that laid the foundation. At the start of each day, a short greeting and some specific instructions echoed from the loudspeaker at the front of the room: Stand beside your desk, say the Pledge of Allegiance, and repeat this mantra:

“I am special.
I am responsible for my actions.
I am going to do my best work today.”

I repeated those three sentences every day from kindergarten through fourth grade, so I can’t say I’m shocked they stuck. Add in a Black mama who didn’t play about decorum plus my Virgo sun sign and the “A” in my initials might as well stand for Accountable.

I’ve always felt an obligation and a willingness to accept responsibility for my actions. It is my duty to hold myself accountable to my own personal convictions and be the person my mama raised me to be, a kind, generous, productive, contributing member of society. I also really like being the person who does what they say they’ll do, someone others can rely on. When people think of me, I want them think of someone who says what she means, means what she says, and isn’t afraid to admit when she’s wrong.

It frustrates me that others aren’t as accountable. I know I hold myself to some pretty high standards (I am very, very much a Virgo) but sometimes I wonder why some people refuse to take the tiniest bit of accountability. Too many folks make excuses, act wishy-washy, or have a million and one reasons why everyone else is at fault but them.

I’ll use myself as an example! I wholeheartedly intended to post updates to this series every week. But for a whole host of reasons, this post didn’t go up when I wanted. I didn’t do exactly what I said I would.

I could blame my job for keeping me busy. Or my husband and dog for needing my attention. Or even my iPad for not having enough battery!

But that isn’t accountability.

Instead, I will acknowledge that the post is late (which it is). I will apologize if that upset anyone (sorry about that y’all). And in the future, I’ll do my best to post on time (and hopefully y’all will give me grace if I am late sometimes).

Nobody’s perfect, but we can all try to hold ourselves accountable for our actions. We can all take responsibility for the actions we take and the energy we put into the world, even when we mess up.

She Is: Values Pt. 1

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As promised in my last post, I’m back to share my 8 core values from Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead list. The values I hold most deeply are:

  • Accountability
  • Equality
  • Financial Stability
  • Honesty
  • Independence
  • Loyalty
  • Perseverance
  • Reliability

To get to this list, I narrowed the full list of over 100 values down to 24 finalists. My final 8 came from those 24. In the original version of this activity, you should narrow down even further to just 2 or 3 values. However, my therapist recommended choosing 8 because our value system can be complex. And let’s be honest- choosing just 2 or 3 values wouldn’t make of a blog series. 🙂

I expected this exercise to be difficult, but holy dang! A lot of introspection and reflection went into just narrowing the list down. I also really thought about what each value meant, searching for definitions and critically assessing what that word meant to me.

I highly encourage everyone who is on a path of personal growth to identify their own top 8! You can view the full list of values here. By examining our thoughts and motivations, we can better understand ourselves and each other.

Heated

Posted in Normal People Things, She. Me. Her., That's What the World Is Today, Work Life by

What do you complain about the most?

I don’t really think of myself as a “complainer.”

I’m the type of gal to try to make the most of any situation. I say I “go with the flow” though my therapist might call it “conflict avoidant” haha. But I truly don’t have much to complain about in life.

However, one thing chaps my ass so much I’ll actually speak up about it:

If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT.

Nothing irritates me more than a flaky person. The old folks called it “sometimey.” You say one thing, then do another. Behaving this way is a guaranteed method to get my attention (and not in a positive way).

Perhaps I feel this way because I try really hard to keep my commitments. My mother DID NOT PLAY about keeping commitments! Anytime I wanted to sign up for a new activity or team, she would always say, “If you agree to this, you see it through the whole season/year/production/whatever. You don’t have to do it ever again after that, but people are depending on you. If you make this commitment, you keep it.”

So you can imagine how, after a lifetime of keeping commitments, it irks me when others don’t do the same. To me, my word is everything. So if you tell me you’ll do something, I will believe you until you show me otherwise. Therefore…

If you can no longer do a thing, SAY SOMETHING.

I know life happens. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. So if I can’t keep a commitment, I’ll let you know as far in advance as I can (and expect you to do the same). Don’t have people out here counting on you and then just leave them hanging—that is disrespectful and rude.

So be honest. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Keep the promises you do make. Let folks know if situations change.

Then maybe we’ll all have a bit less to complain about!

Tangled Up in Me

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Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

Since I was a child, I’ve always had a lot of “stuff.” School papers, books, knickknacks, stuffed animals—if I received it, I kept it. To this day, my mother expresses amazement at the system of organized chaos I maintained. Yes, my room was a mess, but that mess was cataloged (and if you messed with my mess I would definitely notice).

As an adult, I’m still inclined to keep things but to a significantly smaller extent. These days I hang onto sentimental stuff: cards, photos, ticket stubs, items that are typically smaller and easier to store. I actually competed a project last month to reorganized all my mementos; they are now separated by phase of life, tucked away in labeled bins for easy reference in the future. (How very Virgo of me, spending my hard earned vacation time on home organization projects haha.)

Nowadays, the mental clutter requires more attention than the physical. I struggle so hard with letting memories go…especially when they hurt. The rejections, the embarrassments, the dismissals, the failures, the missed opportunities—all of them live rent-free in my brain and they love making their presence known.

I understand our brains do lots of wild stuff because of evolution; they are hard wired to protect us from danger and memory is part of that. But what I don’t understand is why I can’t purge some of this mental clutter. Why I hold onto it, pull it off the shelf, and examine it so often (even when I’d rather be thinking about pretty much anything else.)

It reminds me of a song:

I’m real good at forgiving

But my heart can’t forget

The ache before the mend

Kelly Clarkson, skip this part

I’m pretty good at moving on, but for some reason my brain just refuses to let go of all the hurt.

Maybe this is all for some higher purpose I haven’t realized yet. Or maybe it’s my depression and anxiety playing tricks on me (as they are known to do). Either way, I’d love to clear out some of these old hurts and make room for more positive thoughts.

skip this part

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Can I skip this part
When I fall to pieces
Back here at start
Need a time machine then

If I could escape all this hurt and this pain, oh, I would
What it’s gonna take to get me through this break is no good

Kelly Clarkson, ‘skip this part’

I know I’m guilty of pushing my feelings aside for convenience, self-preservation, and to protect other people’s feelings. Those so-called “bad” feelings—anger, disappointment, frustration—I’m the queen of holding that ish in. For some many reasons, I’ve convinced myself that these very natural feelings should be hidden away. Other people can feel that way, but not me. Can’t let people know when they hurt you—that’s weakness! Never show people you’re upset—don’t wanna be a buzzkill!

But even the “good” feelings are carefully sequestered; joy, passion, and enthusiasm are carefully meted. Phrases like “a crime of passion” always freaked me out because the emotion takes over. I never want to lose control of myself, even for “good” reason. Not only that, if I allow myself to fully experience those emotions then I’ll open myself up to disappointment. Don’t get too happy because you’ll feel that tumble and crash into sadness even more. Don’t get too excited because then it will hurt twice as much when someone (especially someone you love) lets you down.

But today and from now on, I allow myself to feel.

I am so sick of putting myself into a box because it’s easier than living outside of it. I am wasting one of the most beautiful human experiences—feeling and emotion—because I’m worried about how other people will react. I will always consider and respect the feelings of others, and I try to never shame anyone for feeling a way. So I’m going to apply that sentiment to myself from now on.

Do you allow yourself to feel? How do you express your feelings in a healthy, non-destructive way that still respects the feelings of others?

Sittin’ On Top of the World

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Today was a good day.

I woke up well rested. My workout didn’t (totally) wipe me out.

The class pilot I’ve been stressing out over for a month went swimmingly. I got ahead on not one, but two projects. A colleague gushed over a video series I produced for her; she called the work I thought was basic “amazing.”

The temperature stayed above freezing for most of the day. I tried a new recipe that turned out delicious. The kitchen is clean, supper made enough leftovers for another dinner, and and I’m contentedly watching reruns of The Office with my love.

Today wasn’t spectacular, or life changing. It wasn’t even particularly interesting. But it was such a good day.

In the US, November is seen as a month for gratitude and giving thanks. But too many of us neglect to appreciate the many blessings around us. This is my intention to express gratitude every month, every week, every day of the year.

May we see each day for the beautiful gift it is. May we value each other for the differences that make us unique. May we do our best to make each day a good day for all of us.

Think Twice

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Today my affirmation was, “I will make good choices today.” Not easy choices. Or convenient ones. Good choices.

And it was HARD.

Lately I’ve come to admit that the way I moved through life in the past doesn’t serve me as much anymore. The perfectionism, the self doubt, the use of fear and criticism as motivators—they helped me survive. They were my rock and slingshot, meager tools for slaying giants but effective nonetheless. For a very long time, they felt like the only tools I had.

But now, I choose differently.

I choose to let go of what I can’t change. I choose to believe in myself. I choose to stop punishing for being human. I choose to treat my body with kindness. I choose to speak to myself gently and with encouragement.

I owe it to the version of myself who thought there was no other way.