Heated

What do you complain about the most?

I don’t really think of myself as a “complainer.”

I’m the type of gal to try to make the most of any situation. I say I “go with the flow” though my therapist might call it “conflict avoidant” haha. But I truly don’t have much to complain about in life.

However, one thing chaps my ass so much I’ll actually speak up about it:

If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT.

Nothing irritates me more than a flaky person. The old folks called it “sometimey.” You say one thing, then do another. Behaving this way is a guaranteed method to get my attention (and not in a positive way).

Perhaps I feel this way because I try really hard to keep my commitments. My mother DID NOT PLAY about keeping commitments! Anytime I wanted to sign up for a new activity or team, she would always say, “If you agree to this, you see it through the whole season/year/production/whatever. You don’t have to do it ever again after that, but people are depending on you. If you make this commitment, you keep it.”

So you can imagine how, after a lifetime of keeping commitments, it irks me when others don’t do the same. To me, my word is everything. So if you tell me you’ll do something, I will believe you until you show me otherwise. Therefore…

If you can no longer do a thing, SAY SOMETHING.

I know life happens. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. So if I can’t keep a commitment, I’ll let you know as far in advance as I can (and expect you to do the same). Don’t have people out here counting on you and then just leave them hanging—that is disrespectful and rude.

So be honest. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Keep the promises you do make. Let folks know if situations change.

Then maybe we’ll all have a bit less to complain about!

No More (Baby Imma Do Right)

“I’m gettina lil’ tired of your broken promises, promises…”

Y’all remember that song??? 3LW had middle school me hype! I was really out there singing (definitely off-key) to my (completely imaginary) boyfriend to get his (entirely hypothetical) shit together. 😂😂😂

Now, those three little women didn’t know what the hell they were singing about either. (Or maybe they were more sophisticated young adults than I was—who knows?) Either way, I appreciate the message behind the song in a way I couldn’t back then.

Sometimes, we stay in situations we know aren’t good for us. Whether it’s a job or a relationship or something else entirely, we stay because we feel comfortable. We stay because it’s what we know. We stay because we can’t imagine another way.

So we put up with the lies. The abuse. The broken promises, promises. We push aside our intuition and let the situation control us, instead of the other way around. Eventually, we find ourselves two options: stay or go.

Not an easy decision, but a necessary one.

Today, I stand at this crossroads. I can stay comfortable (and unhappy) where I am. I could journey to a new (scary and unknown) place.

I don’t know what to choose.

Without sharing too much, I’ve been in this situation for a long time time (over a decade actually). Many aspects of the situation are excellent, but a few key areas conflict with my personal values. I can choose to overlook those few things and just focus on the good, but that makes me feel like a fraud. I don’t want to lie to anyone, especially myself.

So here I am, between a rock and a hard place. I don’t know what I’m going to choose, but I do now this—I need to make a choice. Because as those three little women sang all those years ago…

“You do, or you don’t. You will, or you won’t.”

Down the Aisle: 365 Days and Counting!

One year from today, JB and I will become husband and wife!

I’m starting this series on wedding planning to share my experience and hopefully make wedding planning easier for lots of other brides out there.  When JB and I first got engaged, I quickly became overwhelmed with all of the details that needed to be addressed.  However, as someone who has worked as a professional project manager, I’m confident that I’ll be able to coordinate all of the details and make our wedding truly spectacular.  Look forward to posts on invitation selection, ceremony details, reception planning, DIY decor, and more!

But at the end of the day, the reception decorations and ceremony programs aren’t what really matters.  What matters is two people becoming one and creating their own family.  What matters is promising to be there for one another always, through the great times and the terrible times.  Regardless of what the decorations look like, I can’t wait to stand in front of our family and friends and publicly declare our commitment to each other and to God.

I’ve been praying a special prayer for JB and I as our wedding date draws nearer.  “Father, please bless our union. Allow us to serve You, bringing us closer together as we draw closer to You. We are thankful you brought us together and unite us for life.”

One of our very first photos together!

One of our very first photos together!

Tis’ the Season

Is anyone else already feeling the Christmas spirit?

Halloween has barely passed, Thanksgiving is over three weeks away, and here I sit making my Christmas list. Ever a planner, I’ve decided to get a jump on Christmas 2013 by outlining and budgeting a bit early this year. My goal is to get gifts for everyone (including my friends and colleagues at work) for $500 or less. That may sound like a lot, but with a list of over 20 people giving the gifts I want may prove challenging.

This year will involve a lot of homemade gifts; I’m really looking forward to flexing my creative muscle. I’ve already got a Pinterest board with ideas and may start making gifts as early as…now!

What are your plans for gift giving this holiday season? What creative gift ideas are you hoping to try out?

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List (pg. 1 of 3) and cards to prep for sending